End of the year post

I wasn't going to do one of these, but I've been lazy and absent lately so I figured I might as well.

2009 was a mixed year for me. Writing wise and personally.

Even though I'm not quite where I want to be when it comes to writing, I did start working at it more this past year.

I don't like looking back in the past, so instead here are some personal and professional goals for the coming year.

1. Get my own apartment. I'm nineteen years old and still living with my father. Now, that might not seem too bad for some of you, but after living on my own for a year it's really hard living with a parent again.

2. Finish up high school. By this summer, I'm going to be a goddamn high school graduate if it kills me.

3. Finish all three drafts I started in 2009. For VDGP, that shouldn't be too hard. That story still speaks to me the most. College For Witches, on the other hand, needs to be totally ripped apart and redone. TFA is going to need a lot of work as well.

4. Start at least one completely new story.

5. FINISH NANO! Nano has defeated me two years in a row and I won't stand of it again.

6. Read 100 books, which is only 20 more than I read this year. Shouldn't be too hard.

7. I have some fitness and weight goals for next year too but I won't go into detail there.

8. Post on here at least once a week.

I'm sure I have more goals as the year goes on. But even if I just reach a few of these, I'll be damn proud of myself. I hope everyone keeps checking in withe me and hounds me every now and then about these goals. Something about people I've never met before yelling at me motivates me strongly.

Anyone else have some goals for the new year?


Oh yeah. One more goal:




































10. Spend more time looking at hot men, like Jensen Ackles. It just makes my day seem so much brighter.

Another Tuesday, Another Teaser.

This scene is when the main villain comes into play. Enjoy.

My mouth opened to say something, maybe to give Chris a warning but I can’t seem to form the words. The complete and utter fear was back and nothing on my body seemed to worked.

“Well, aren't you going to welcome me back? After all, I left you some presents as a welcoming. Shouldn’t you repay me?” Dante’s voice was smooth and haunting. I started to shake and clutched Chris’ arms to me.

“Who the fuck are you?” Chris growled angrily. I gave him a hard squeeze in warning. The last thing we needed was for him to piss Dante off. He shot a questioning look down at me, his eyes full of anger. But when he saw my face, the emotion faded away rapidly. He could tell that I was terrified and it threw him off. He had never seen me like this and he didn’t know what to think or do. I tried to shake my head at him but couldn't manage it. I wanted to scream for him to run, to get away but couldn't.

Dante moved and my head snapped back to look at him. He grinned maliciously and answered with a bow, “I am Dante. You must be…Christopher. It is so good to finally meet you face to face.” My blood turned to ice when he said Chris’ name. How did he know? Had he been watching me?

Thankfully, Chris didn't respond. I think he finally realized who was standing in front of us and the fear had set in. His body went rigid and he grabbed my hand behind my back, gripping hard.

“Hmm. I can see I’ll be the one carrying on the conversation,” he slinked toward me and I cringed away. There was a flash of movement and his hand was on my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. I whimpered and tried to pull away but he held me still. Chris shifted behind me, “Move and I’ll snap her neck,” The movement stopped. “Back away child. I wish to speak to my pet without you interfering.”

Chris hesitated, trying to decide what to do. Just listen to him. Run, Chris. Run. I thought fervently at him. After a moment, Chris dropped my hand and backed away, causing me to stumble. I had been leaning on him more than I realized; he had been practically holding me up.

“She’s not your pet,” Chris spat at Dante and I flinched. Dante’s eyes lifted off my face and stared at Chris. The coldness was gone from his eyes, they were positively on fire.

“I look forward to teaching you respect, Christopher. Unfortunately, the tough guys are usually the ones who break the easiest. Still, I will enjoy it no matter how short the affair will be.”



I think I fixed all the tense issues I was having. While I was writing this, I was reading a book written in pretense tense so it came sneaking into my own writing. Let me know if you see something I missed!

Another 2010 Challenge!

That's right. This one is all about my favorite subject. Vampires! The details are below (Copied from Reading with Tequila) I'm going to go nuts and go for the Vampire lover. The three full series I'm going to read are:

1. Woman of the Otherworld by Kelley Armstrong (three down, six to go)
2. Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz (two down, two to go)
3. Wicked Lovely by Melissa Mar (two down, two to go)

Wish me luck!

Vampire Series Challenge
Hosted by MizB

For this challenge you will read according to your preferred level of participation. Choose ONE (1) of the following 4 levels:

Level One: Vampire Newbie ~ read Book 1 of three (3) different vampire series (for a list of series’ featuring vampires, see my All In Order blog, or check out Kathrin’s list here –but note that some of the ones she mentions may not be series books). So, for example, you could read: “Twilight” by Stephenie Meyer (book 1 in the “Twilight” series), “Evermore” by Alyson Noel (book 1 of the “Immortals” series), and “City of Bones” by Cassandra Clare (book 1 of the “Mortal Instruments” series). NO re-reads allowed for this level, as you’re supposed to be introducing yourself to new vampire series.

Level Two: Vampire Addict ~ Choose either to: reread 2 vampire series books you’ve already read; OR read 2 more books from a vampire series that you’ve already started reading. For example: if you’ve already read books 1 & 2 of the “Twilight” series, now go and read books 3 & 4. OR, if you’ve already read the whole “House of Night” series by P.C. Cast, go back and read 2 of the books from that series.

Level Three: Vampire Enthusiast ~ Read 6 books from any series featuring vampires as key/main characters. This can be a mix of different series, or you can read all 6 books from one series, or whatever.

Level Four: Vampire Lover ~ If you’re really feeling crazy about vampires, this is the level for you! Read 3 full series featuring vampires as key/main characters. Example: The whole “House of Night” series, the whole “Twilight” series, the whole “Vampire Academy” series, or whatever. Totally up to you. And, I don’t care if you’re re-reading them. So long as you read the whole series.

Other rules:

• rereads are allowed, EXCEPT for Level One (Vampire Newbie).
• ebooks & audiobooks are allowed
• the challenge will run from January 1st through December 31st, 2010.

Road Trip Wednesday.

This is a weekly thing done over at YA Highway. They ask questions, people answer. This is the first time I've ever participated but I've been reading others for awhile now. I saw the questions and thought, 'What the hell?' and here we are.


Question One: What are the three best books you've read all year?

1.) Easily Atonement by Ian McEwan. It blew me away. It was the first book I read all year and I can still remember it perfectly. And I want to reread it more than you know.

2.) The Mortal Instruments trilogy by Cassandra Clark. These books made me sad, angry, heated, passionate, happy, and every other emotion under the sun. I cared about these characters and wanted them to succeed, to be happy. I loved them all.

3.) Skin Trade by Laurell K. Hamilton. Now, in all honesty, this may not have been in the top three best books I've read this year. But it was in the top three favorite. The Anita Blake series had dissolved into nothing but sex for the last few books. Don't get me wrong, I love a good sex scene as much as the next girl. But the series lost the danger, the action, and the thrill that kept me coming back. In this one, Laurell found her magic again. And I fell in love with this series all over again.

Question Two: If I could meet any author, alive or dead, who would I meet?

Laurell K. Hamilton. Her series was the first one that ever really hooked me. There had been books I liked in the past, but hers was the first I couldn't not read. I've read every book of hers except two, one that just came out and one that was her first one ever published. I'm buying Divine Misdemeanors ASAP and I'm starting Nightseer soon. I think I would die of giddyness if I ever meet her in real life.

Question Three: What books am I looking forward to in 2010?

There are a few people I've interacted with over at AW that I'm excited to read their new books. The new Anita Blake comes out in 2010 (I like Laurell K. Hamilton in case you didn't catch on yet). But mostly I just look for books as they come out. Looking at books that haven't been published yet just make me yell, "WANT NAO. CANNOT WAIT." (That's what she said.)

Well there you have it. It's been fun. I didn't think I'd have that much to say. Go figure.

Tuesday Teaser.

I'm really tired so I'm not going to explain the scene. I think you'll be able to understand it on your own. *Insert usual disclaimer about how rough the selection is.* Enjoy.


He stared at me for several moments before he broke, “I’m sure you have some questions for me.”

I lifted my eyebrows, “What makes you think that? It’s not like an evil vampire bitch just told me that you were involved with another evil vampire that killed my parents. Oh wait…”

He sighed and stared at his hands. “I know how you must be feeling.”

Something inside me snapped at this. Anger rose inside me, leaving a trail as hot as fire, and settled in my throat. I tried to swallow it but it burst from my lips and I shouted, “Really? You know what it’s like to relive your parents murder? You know what it’s like to not know if you can trust the person you love above anyone else? Really?” I was suddenly standing over him and I didn’t remember moving. My breath was ragged and I had to clench my teeth shut to stop myself from screaming.

Jay sat there completely peaceful. I had the sudden urge to strike him. My fist clenched in yearning but I forced it open. His total passiveness pissed me off more than him screaming back would have.

“Well?!” I demanded, placing my hand on my hips and tapping my foot.

“I wish I had a better answer for you then I do,” his perfect mask slipped for a moment and I saw the hurt in his eyes. I must have reacted because he turned from me to stare out the window. “I haven’t been lying to you. It’s always been the truth between us. Most of my life is a complete mystery to me. I get,” he made a gesture, “flashes. Flashes that don’t make any sense.” He looked at me again and the pleading in his eyes made my anger vanish. I sank down next to him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me pulled as close as possible. He buried his head in my hair as he clung to me. “I’d tell you in an instant if I knew anything about Dante. You know that. You know me.”

I stroked his hair and considered this. He was right. I did know him and, whether it was stupid or not, I believed him. I nodded, “You’re right. I believe you. But,” he pulled back at this, “maybe there’s some way to get your memories back.” He raised one eyebrow. “Zaynab might be able to break down the barriers that keep you from remembering.”

He pulled away from me completely as he thought. He was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. “I’ll have to think about. Having someone dig in my brain like that… Well, let’s just say it worries me some.”

“I understand. It would frighten me too.”

“I didn’t say anything about being scared.”

I laughed softly. “You never admit to being scared but I know Jay-speak fairly well by now,” I nudged his side and he lifted his arm so I could cuddle against him. “It’s okay to say you’re scared, you know. At least to me.”

He scoffed, “You’re one to talk. Who do you think taught me the tough guy act?”

“I can totally admit to being scared,” he scoffed again.

“Gwen, I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve said that you were scared and still have fingers left over.”

I shifted uncomfortably. That couldn’t be true, could it? Had I become someone who couldn’t say how they felt even to the person they loved? “You’re exaggerating. I can and do tell you when I’m scared.”


He moved so I sat up. I felt his hands wrap around my forearms and he forced me to look him square in the face. “Alright. Tell me how you feel about Dante. About what we saw in the morgue today.”

My face hardened, “You know how I felt. You saw my reaction when the sheet was lifted.” For some reason, I couldn’t meet his eye so I focused on his nose.

He shook me softly till I brought my gaze up, “I want you to look at me and say it.” I stared angrily at him and he shook me a bit harder, “Say it.”

As I pulled myself from his grasp, my voice came out louder than I meant it to, “Alright. I’m terrified. I’m afraid that Dante will force me to relive my family’s murder over and over again until my mind breaks. I’m scared that he’ll finally finish what he started. I’m completely and utterly terrified. Happy?” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

His smile fell, “Not at all. I can’t imagine how hard this must be on you. And the last thing I want to see is you in pain.”

My lower lip started to quiver and I could feel the tears start to form behind my eyes. I bit down hard on my lip and dug my fingernails into my arm to try and contain them. Jay’s eyes filled with sadness as he pulled me into him. As soon as I was in his arms, the dam broke and the tears started flowing freely. The sobs weren’t far behind. Jay brought me completely into his lap and stroked my hair.

“It’s alright, love. It’s going to be okay,” his voice was soft as he repeated those words to me.

Free books!

Need I say more?

The good folk over at YA Highway are giving away books to their devoted followers. Like me. Go over and check them out!

2010 Book Blogger Challenge

For 2010, I am going to try to read 100 books. When I was this post, I decided 'why not?'. The challenge is to read a certain amount of books from a list of over 200 books. A lot of them are on my 'to-read' list anyways. I think this is going to be lots of fun. I think I'll go for level 3 and read fifteen books off of the list.

Here are the ones I'm choosing:

1. Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
2. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
3. The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
4. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle
5. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
6. Shiver - Maggie Stiefvater
7. The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks
8. Good Omens - Neil Gaiman
9. The Shining - Stephen King
10. Marked - PC Cast and Kristin Cast
11. Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahniuk
12. Death's Shadow - Darren Shan
13. Graceling - Kristin Cashore
14. The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collin
15. Eragon - Christopher Paolini

List may be subject to change, but I doubt it.

To Lori and Scarlett

(This blog refers to this blog and this blog)

*shakes head*
I'm disappointed in both of you. Shame.

Teaser Tuesday

Or Tuesday Teaser. Whatever. This is the dreaded dream sequence. (What? My MC has nightmares. Deal with it) Gwen is dreaming about her parents death. I know this scene needs a lot of work but I haven't been writing much lately so... rough and in need of lots fixing it is.


My mother raised her head weakly, “It’s going to be okay, baby.” Her arms were strung above her head just like my dad’s and her toes couldn’t even touch the floor. I wanted to believe her but the monster was too scary, too strong. How could it be okay?

He turned his attention to her, “Yes, lie to your daughter. Comfort her,” he stalked towards her as he stroked a knife I didn’t see him grab. “The mother and daughter relationship always astounded me. The absolute trust she has in you,” he turned and snarled at me. I tightened my arms around my legs as a small sound escaped me. I didn’t like it when he looked at me, “usually. Right now,” he moved behind her and placed his knife against her cheek. I shrieked and scrambled towards her.

I stumbled and fell to the ground, crying. My father was struggling against his chains and I could hear them rattle. “She doesn’t believe you. She thinks you are all going to die. And you know what,” he leaned into her and caressed her cheek. Dad screamed something at him that only seemed to please the monster, “she’s right.” The knife cut into my mom’s skin in a long cut. She called out in pain and my dad screamed again. I sobbed her name and reached out to her. The monster licked the blood from her cheek in a long stroke.

“Get your fucking hands off my wife, you sick fuck.” My dad was jerking against his chains, trying to reach my mother.

“Now, now. Such language in front of your little girl,” he tapped his chin with the knife, “How should I punish you?” A cruel smile spread across his lips. “I’ve got it!” His blade ran across my mom’s throat in a flash. I screamed as blood started to run down her skin. Her head fell forward, lifeless.

I ran to her, saying, “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” over and over again under my breath. I could hear my father calling out to me but he sounded far away. I reached my mom and started to shake her. “Mommy, wake up." I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her stomach as I sobbed. I could feel something warm dripping down onto me but I ignored it. Nothing felt real. And I knew it wouldn’t until I could feel my mother wrap her arms around me and tell me everything would be alright.

When sound returned to me, I could hear the bad man laughing and my father calling out to me in a broken voice, “Gwenie baby. Come to me. Come to me baby,” but I couldn’t release my mother. If I let her go, then she was really gone. If I dropped my arms, then she wasn’t coming back. Even as her blood dripped into my hair, I held myself to her as close as possible.

Before I knew what was happening, my back hit the wall hard and I crumpled into a heap, unable to move. I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t feel my legs. I could hear my dad shouting again but I couldn’t make out his words. After a while, I could move my head. I leaned my head back so I could look at my dad and see why he was screaming. When I saw him, I was screaming too.

The monster's laughter was louder than our screams. He was holding something medal and pushed into my dad again and again. It smelled like cooked meat suddenly and I could barley manage to roll over before I threw up all over myself.

“Kill me, just don’t hurt my little girl! Please! Please!” The monster smile frightened me so badly that it felt like my whole body was frozen. I couldn’t have moved even if I wanted to. The demon, yes I was sure by now that he was definitely a demon, stalked closer to my father and said something in his ear too quiet for me to hear. My dad’s eyes met mine and a tear slid down his cheek.

I opened my mouth to call out to him but he shook his head. He mouthed I love you, and I do the same. I knew what was coming before it happened and the tears started flowing freely down my cheeks once again. I closed my eyes as the demon raised the hot, metal rod. I heard a fleshy ripping noise and I knew my father was gone.

“No need to cry sweetheart. It will all be over soon,” the demons voice rang high in my ears as I jerked awake.




As a thank you for reading this (and just cause I like to look at him), I present to you:

James McAvoy. Cause you can never have enough McAvoy.

Tuesday Teaser

Another Tuesday, another teaser. (Okay so this is only my second one. Whatever.) This is usually done with YA novels, but nothing from my current YA novel is worth posting. Instead, this is from my Adult Urban Fantasy novel known here as VDGP. I hope people will still comment even though it's not YA. Let me know what you think!


I grumbled a bit but knew he was right. In our line of work, we needed to be reachable at all times. We didn’t get to turn off the ringer for uninterrupted sex. Jay checked the caller id and handed it to me without answering.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby face,” I smiled as Riley’s soft, happy voice reached my ears. Riley was my best friend and had been for years. He and I had grown up together and after my parents died, he was the only person I had.

“Riley.” Jay tightened at the way I said his name. Jay knew that Riley and I had tried to be romantically involved once and it still worried him. I told him repeatedly that it never went anywhere because it was obvious we made much better friends then lovers but he could never quite bring himself to let the jealousy go completely.

“So you guys hadn’t called me yet and I was just checking to see if you still needed me to dog sit?” I crinkled my brow and tried to remember why we needed a sitter.

“Shit!” I exclaimed and jumped off of the bed. “Yes! We do! How soon can you be here?”

Riley chuckled in my ear, “I can be there in five. I am only two floors above you,” he laughed again, “I can’t believe that you forgot that Chris’ first hunt was tonight. After all, you’re the one who insisted on him waiting for you.”

I was already pulling on my black jeans in attempts to hurry, “I know, I know. I’m a horrible person. I’ll see you when you get here.” I hung up without waiting for a reply.

Jay was still sitting on the bed as calm as can be, even though I knew his hearing was better than humans so he had heard every word that Riley had said. When I turned to the closet to chose a shirt for myself, I pulled a pair of black pants from his side and tossed them at him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to convert to jeans. He was too old fashion. At least I had broken him of his leather habit, mostly.

“Get dressed. We’re late.”

Tuesday Teaser (Cept it's really Wednesday)

The folks over at the YA forum on AW do a Tuesday Teaser every week. I've been thinking about joining in for awhile, but I've been afraid. Their Teaser are all so good and my first drafts almost never are. Now, some of this may be 3 am talking but I've decided to screw it. I'm going for it. Here's a scene from my NaNo project that I just finished not too long ago.

It's from the male MC's perceptive. The two are at a coffee shop, catching up, and they are about to leave. He starts reliving the day that the female MC moved away when they were young. Now, be gentle. Remember it's a very rough draft and NaNo. Which means I cranked it out as fast as possible without any second guessing or editing. On that note, tell me what you think.

It was obvious to him that Grace was starting to come to the same conclusion, but Reece wasn’t ready to let her go yet. Every time he thought of them parting ways, the scene of her moving away at the end of seventh grade popped into his head.

She had ran over to his house again, as she had so many times before. The day before, she had begged him to come see her off but he said he couldn’t. Even though she asked for a reason a hundred times, he never gave her one. He didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t stand her leaving him and he didn’t want to deal with it. If he didn’t watch her drive off, he could pretend it didn’t happen, at least for a little while.

But Grace could not leave without saying goodbye. They both knew they would regret not getting in a last goodbye, but that didn’t make it any easier for Reece or for Grace. Even so, literally five minutes before her mom was planning to leave, she fled to him.

He had been watching TV, but he couldn’t have told anyone what was on. What he was really doing was not thinking about Grace. He couldn’t. Then there was a knock on the door. Reece seriously considered not answering it, but he heard her small, broken voice calling out to him.

“Reece,” she choked, followed by another knock. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger and actually sounded like her, “Reece, I know you’re in there, God damn it. Answer this door right now or else I’m coming in there and kicking your skinny little ass.”

She pounded on the door. He had moved while she was talking and was standing just on the other side of the door, still debating whether or not to open it. It was when a small sob reached his ears that he wrenched the door open.

Immediately, he was slapped across his face. Less than a second later, Grace flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head into his chest. Reece rested his chin on top of her head and stroked her hair. She was shaking, silently crying into him. He began whispering softly to her, telling her it was going to be alright even though he didn’t believe it himself.

After what seemed like hours, she lifted her head and stared into his eyes. Moving his hands to cradle her face, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Slowly, she shook her head back and forth, “No. It’s not going to be alright. How can it be alright? How can I be alright without…” she stopped and bit her trembling lower lip.

“Without what?” Reece searched her face, hoping to find a hint at what she couldn’t live without.

She let out an exasperated sigh and yelled, “Without you, idiot! You’ve always been here with me. You’ve gotten me through every hard time I have ever had. How am I going to get by without you? Especially since I’m in love with you, stupid!”

There they were. The words he had wanted to hear for so long. Without so much as a thought, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her as deeply and as best as he knew how. Her body tightened around him and one of his hands traveled to her hair while the other continued to cradle her cheek. They had both kissed people before but it had always been chaise and innocence. This kiss felt anything but innocence. It felt heated and passionate. Grace’s mouth opened and Reece was surprised momentarily when her tongue entered his mouth. It took him about a second to recover before he returned the gentle touch.

It seemed like that moment was going to last forever, but no matter how perfect the moment, it must end. Theirs came to a halt when Grace’s mother pulled into the driveway and honked her horn. Grace broke the kiss but didn’t back away or drop her hold on him. She examined his face as if she was trying to memorize every freckle. Her mom honked again. Grace pressed another kiss against his lips than ran towards the car without so much as a glance back at the boy she was leaving behind.

Reece watched their car disappear. He knew that the world wasn’t going to end, but at fourteen, losing his best friend and the girl he was in love with sure felt like the end. As he turned back towards his house, the first tear fell. And it was a long time before the last one did too.

“Grace,” Reece said impulsively, “Would you like to go for a walk with me?” He knew he was being stupid. He knew he would see her in a few days at the most, but the fourteen year old boy on the doorstep was screaming at him not to let her go again.

I probably used way too many commas, but that will all get fleshed out later. Thanks for your input if you decide to comment. If not, well fine. I didn't want your comment anyways. =]

Sometimes, Procrastination Pays Off

I was feeling a little down this morning. So instead of working on my NaNo like I should have been, I spent a good deal of time looking up pictures of beautiful people. After about fifteen minutes, I thought to myself "Why should I be the only one who benefits from my procrastination?"

On that note, let me introduce to some of my new favorites,

Mr. Christian "Sexiest Batman Ever" Bale-
Mr. Hugh "Not afraid to sing and dance" Dancy:

Mr. Jared "How did it take me this long to realize how beautiful you were?" Leto:

There you go. Feel free to benefit off the fruits off my laziness.

Writing Meme

Your genre(s): I write mostly adult Urban Fantasies but I've been experimenting in YA books the past couple of months. I still like UF the best but I'm slowly getting better with YA.

How many books are you working on now: Right now my main book is my NaNo novel, The Freshman Affair. And if I ever have any extra time after working on that, Gwen and Jay demand my attention. Constantly. Seriously, they won't shut up.
I still haven't finish my last year's novel, College for Witches, but it needs a total make over before it will ever be finished. So far now, it's on the back burner.

Are you a linear or chunk writer: Mostly a linear writer, but when I get stuck or I'm in a particular mood, I'll skip ahead to a scene that fits that mood or is thrilling enough to get me unstuck.

The POV you’re partial to: First person, first person, first person. It's been a really long time since I've used any other. When I realized that, I decided to try third person limited for my NaNo. There's the occasional miss use of pronouns but other than that I'm liking it. I still think I do better with first though.

The Tense you use: Past. Hands down.

The theme that keeps cropping up in your books: Sex.

Okay not just sex. Also violence, love, pain, and lots of death. What can I say? I like to put my characters through hell.

How many days a week do you write: I try to write at least five days a week. With NaNo it's all seven. Before NaNo, it was probably closer to three, but I'm working on it,

What time of day do you get your best writing done: Latish. Like midnight or later.Or right away in the morning if I actually manage to walk up.

Who are your mentors: Err... I don't really have any. I just try to listen to people who have been writing longer and have had some success with it. I'll take all the help and advice I can get.

My favorite authors to read: Well there's Laurell K Hamiliton, who really turned me on to Urban Fantasy. Katie MacAlister, Kim Harrison, and Madelyn Alt have also helped there. Annette Blair has help nurture my love for paranormal romances.

Then there's the more serious works, like Doyle and Austen. Chuck Palahniuk and Ian McEwan are new favorites. And, of course, I love me some Shakespeare.

This Meme was shamefully stolen from Lori. Thanks for giving me something to post about. =]

Houston, we have a problem.

I don't even know if I can call it a problem. If it was any month but November, I would consider this problem a blessing. And yet...

Because it's NaNo, I had to start a completely new story. I didn't think that it would be a big of deal. I figured I could just temporarily move Gwen and Jay's story to the back burner and give TFA my full attention. But something is happening to me that I've only ever heard of from other authors.

Gwen and Jay won't. shut. up.

Their story keeps me up at night. I even had a dream about them when I finally manged to get to sleep (Jay was even hotter than I thought. It was a really good dream ;-]). Gwen's voice is whispering to me constantly. And her and Grace (TFA's female MC) are two completely different people and their stories have very little in common. Gwen keeps showing up, her mannerisms and attitude keep creeping in where they don't belong.

Some of you would think there was a simple solution, just work on them both. Well, with school, trying to find a job, and dealing with my father, it's hard enough to find time to do nearly 2k a day.

Gwen. I'm beggging you, just for November, please keep your mouth shut.



I really have no reason for putting Gerard Butler in here. I just like to look at him.

Besides, some people *cough* Scarlett *cough* only read this for the hot men. Got to keep them coming back. ;-]

Oh NaNo.

It's that time of year again. NaNo is just around the corner. And I'm just as, if not more, nervous for this year as I was last year.

Some of you may remember that I didn't win my first year. I'm still okay with that because I still wrote more that month than I ever had before. But this year, I feel even more pressure to win. Now that I've gone through it once, I feel like I should be more prepare.

I think it's safe to say that's not how I feel. At all.

Since NaNo last year, I have learned a few things about myself as a writer. One, I'm not a wing it kind of girl. I always thought I was, but after the fail that CFW turned into and the success that VDGP is turning into, I've been proven wrong. So I've been outlining The Freshman Affair, but there is something missing. The "Magic Feather" as Lori (Between Brothers out now. Read it.((Unless you're like me and are still waiting for the paperback to come out))) and Scarlett have deemed it.

I've got a little more than a week to discover that magic. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

On a side note- My birthday was two days ago. Which still hasn't really hit me. I feel like I just hit 18. What happened to 2009?

To apologize for my absent, I present to you:


Men who could murder your cat and you'd forgive them without hesitation.

Forget about my blatant neglection yet? Not quite? Well this should do it then....
Enjoy. =]

Saying Goodbye to the Past

I made a big decision today. I decided that I was finally ready to let go of the past.

I spent a good deal of time in high school in and out of therapy and treatment centers for depression. My mother had married an emotionally and physical abusive man when I was in 7th grade but it wasn't till 9th that I had no choice but to move in with them. I spent three years in a house where I felt neither wanted nor loved. It weighed down hard on me and affected every aspect of my life.

As most of you know, I'm a writer. So when I was depressed, I would write about it. I have folders full of depressed ramblings, some of it by me and some are just song lyrics. Some of them weren't even about anything important, just me being a teenage girl. I thought I should keep them so I could look back at all the things I had lived through and it would make me feel... better I guess. But now I see them for what they are, just a reminder of a time where I was at my absolute lowest. And that all they would ever do is drag me back down.

So I'm going through all of these notebooks and I'm copying down any little gems that I happened to spew out in hopes I might be able to use them someday. So far, I've found one simple sentence that fits perfectly into VDGP and another that spurred a whole new story idea. I'm excited for what else I'll find.

The rest I'm shredding. My step-dad no longer has a hold on me. I'm ready to say goodbye to feeling sorry for myself and letting the past hold me back.

Goodbye teen angst, hello bright future.

Just a quick update.

Writing wise- I've been doing pretty well.

VDGP is coming along pretty well. It's sitting at 3,000 some words right now and with how busy I've been trying to see people before I go back to Pennsylvania. I'm pretty happy with how it's been going.

CFW has sorta been put on the back burner because I've been feeling sort of stalled on it again. That story just doesn't want to go the way I want it to. I wish I would have outlined it. Outlining has been my friend lately.

TFA is still in the outlining process and I'm still having a little trouble making it come together. I need a little more... something to make it worthwhile and interesting.

Personal wise- I've been having a rough couple days and don't really know how to make it better. So I'm going to go over to my sister's house and play with her amazing puppy and watch this guy-

be way too beautiful and shirtless for most of a movie. Hopefully there will be some ice cream involved. Sounds like a perfect cure to me.

My life is complete.

Well not quite. It would be if I could have seen this live but I had no such luck. But I made an awesome discovery today that had made me happy beyond belief.

Are you ready for this?


Are you?

It's......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk&feature=fvw

A FUCKING HARRY POTTER MUSICAL!

If I knew how to post videos on here I would but I don't. Anyways. Check it out. Seriously. Best thing I've seen on the Internet ever.

Not to toot my own horn...

But I'm awesome. Seriously.

Okay not really, but I am having a really good night. Writing wise that is. (You thought I actually went out and got myself a life didn't ya? Sucker) Here is the list of writing accomplishments so far today.

• I finished the outline for my urban fantasy story.
• I finally thought of at least a working title for said story. Since I'm not sure I'm going to keep it, I'm not going to post it here. For now, let's just call it VDGP
  
• I started on VDGP. It's very small start but still a start
  
• I came up with a NaNo idea.
• I came up with a NaNo title- The Freshman Affair. (Don't laugh. I'm horrible at titles)
• I started an outline on The Freshman Affair.

Toot toot!

Vacation time cuts deeply into writing time.

For the past month, I've been on vacation in my hometown. Actually, I'm still on vacation so I haven't been doing very much writing at all. The only thing I really have been doing is working on an outline for an urban fantasy that I've been kicking around for a long time but hasn't ever been made into reality. Well, now that the outline is all but finished, I'm pretty damn sure that this time (which is probably about the 7th time) will be the charm.

I've never been a huge fan of outlining but I'm really glad that I decided to do it. I have a clear idea of where I want the story to go and what I want to happen. It's probably a little too detailed even but I'm hoping that if it comes between the outline and the characters I'll remember that the characters know what's best. *crosses fingers*

One thing that sucks about outlining is that I had to push myself really hard to finish the outline and just not skip right to the writing. Working on the outline made me so excited to get the actual project started that I almost abandoned the outline more than once. But I stuck to my guns and it's just a chapter away for being complete!

The whole reason I decided to post this was because while I was writing the outline I made the decision to kill off one of my favorite characters. I haven't even started to really write it yet but I'm already so attached to this character that I started to tear up a little. I'm so not excited to write that scene, but I feel like it will cause an intense emotional response from my readers (at least I hope so!) and it will motivate my main character a lot. I was not expecting to have such a strong emotional response already. It gives me a lot of hope for this story!

I still don't have a title for this WIP but I'm so excited to get it going! I can't decide if it would be best to put it off till after CFW is done or work at them both at the same time. I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

To apologize for not posting lately (and for the semi info-dumpness that was this post) here's a little man candy:
I usually only lust after men who are quite a bit older than I am so I think for this post I'll pick a few beautiful men who I could actually... well you know... without it being super creeping. Chace Crawford is too hot.

And I would do unspeakable things to Chad Micheal Murray. Whew.
Okay, does this surprise anyone? No matter what, I will never pass up an opportunity to drool over James McAvoy. Never.

Hallelujah

I've been struggling recently College For Witches. The story was supposed to be about the struggles of a young girl starting college and dealing with all the normal problems a girl her age has to, along with some not so normal ones that came from her unconventional upbringing as a Wicca.

What it turned into was a teen romance story. The magic element was barely even in the story and it was supposed to be a main plot point. In short, the original story had gotten lost underneath the intense amount of heat that El and Aiden felt for each other. Excluding a couple particular steamy scenes, I wasn't a fan of where the story was headed.

But tonight, after writing a little more romantic drivel, I had one of the moments I love. An "Aha!" moment. All of the sudden, something clicked into place and I knew how to get the story back on track. A character who is going to be very important in the coming chapters finally came back out of hiding and everyone started to behave according to plan.

Apparently, Elvira and Aiden just really needed to have sex. Before they were uncooperative and stubborn. Now they're content, helpful, and playing by my rules again. And I'm back to liking what I'm writing.

Hallelujah.

YA newbie

So College for Witches is my first attempt at writing something for Young Adults. And I'm pretty sure it's going to be my last.

There's a couple reasons for this. One of them is that I'm afraid that my main character doesn't act her age. All of the characters I've written before have always been in there 20s at least. She's 18, which is actually the same age as me. I would think that I wouldn't have trouble writing someone the same age but it's proving difficult. I don't want to dumb down the character or the story because I know that the readers would be able to tell and resent it. It also wouldn't be true to the character.

It's really hard to put my fears into words without sounding conceited. I don't think I'm better or smarter than anyone my age or anything. I'm just scared my words don't fit with a young adult person.

Another worry I have is with the sex scene I blogged about before. Now I'm fully aware that teens (since I'm still a teen myself) have sex. But again, I'm afraid that the scene I wrote doesn't fit with what is expected in YA. That's it's too put together and more experienced then most teen aged sex. Make sense?

I'm probably being stupid and not giving YA enough credit. It's just nice to be able to put my worries into words. Makes them seem a lot more manageable.

Thanks for listening to my insane ramblings all!

Here to make it up to you:

Mr. James McAvoy.


"Why yes. I do know I'm the sexiest man alive."

Pure Accomplishment.

This one is just going to be a quickie.


But I'm super proud of myself and wanted to share news. Now some of you might not see the big deal, but it's important to me.

Ready?

My WIP crossed the 40k line! I have never come close to writing something this long. I know it needs a lot of work, but for now I'm just focusing on the pure accomplishment I'm feeling at the moment.

How am I going to celebrate?


I'm going to go watch this guy beat the shit out of people and be sexy for a couple hours. With ice cream. Perfect no?

Writing Process Survey

I got this from Lori who got it from who got it from Bettie, who got it from Isaac Espriu's Place. It's orginally from the site Got Muse? A Writer-To-Write Meme.

1) Where do you write?

I write in a few different places. When I'm laptop is working (which isn't very often) I'll write in my bedroom on my bed or on the couch. I usually write in a really uncomfortable chair in the dinning room on a table surrounded by other people's crap. It's the penalty of not having my own place anymore.

2) When do you write?

That also has a tendency to vary. Usually though it's from about midnight to 2 a.m. or however long it takes me to reach my word goal. I wait until after my dad has gone to sleep so I have full use of our desktop computer. Or if I have some free time during the day (which I don't anymore since I'm taking a few internet courses) I'll write a little here and there. If I do work during the day, it's usually working on outlining.

3) Planner or Pantser?

I used to be a pantser but after C.F.W is done I'm going to try my hand at outlining. I have a feeling it will be what I do for now on. College for Witches is suffering some because I didn't plan it out enough.

4) Coffee or tea?

I'm a coffee or soda gal. I hate tea.

5) Pen and paper, or computer?

For outlining, I use pencil and paper. For the story itself, I use the computer. If my creativity is jammed I'll try switching to paper to see if it helps, which is usually does. I just wish my handwriting didn't suck so bad.

6) What gets you in the writing mood?

Listening to music and reading posts on AW about other people doing well. It makes me want to succeed. I write every day though even if I'm not in the mood. Because even if I'm not in the mood and have to force out every word, a little progress is better than none. And I know the effort is worth it because it means reaching The End is a little bit closer.

7) What pulls you out of the writing mood?

Fear mostly. The fear I'm going to fail and my writing will never amount to anything. But like I said, I write anyway. It's like pulling teeth sometimes but it will be worth it eventually. I just repeat that to myself over and over, and eventually the fear fades.

8 What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever read/heard/received?

Shut up and write. Don't bother bitching about not having time or your muse isn't around. Just put your butt in chair and write.

9) Got muse?

I do. But I don't use him as an excuse not to write. If he's on vacation, I sit down at my computer and write anyways. He usually figures out about half way through the session that I'm not giving up so he might as well help out.

10) Who is the biggest supporter of your writing?

Well sadly, I don't really get much support. My dad thinks it's a waste of time and I should give it up and focus on a real career/school. My sister and my mom are better but they never really know what to say. But they do the best they can and I love them for it. I really wish I had another writer friend who understood and kicked my ass when I'm sulking. Listening to Lori and Scarlett push each other via their blogs has really made me realize that.

11) Sound or Silence?

I need music. I don't do well in silence in any situation. Usually just putting my Ipod on shuffle is enough but sometimes I need theme music to match the scene I'm working on. I hate when other people are around when I'm trying to write. If it's unavoidable I'll put on head phones and just play music REALLY LOUD to drown out there voices. I can sometimes work with the TV on but usually only if I'm outlining and not really writing the story yet.


So there you have it.

Surrending to the characters.

*Sighs*

I'm giving in to Elvira and Aiden. They will not be denied. I've been reading a couple AW Blogger blogs who have been writing longer than me (and more successfully than me) to pick up helpful tips. And they both have talked about letting your characters take over sometimes because it will ultimately make the story better. So I'm putting my faith in Aiden and El, praying that they know what they are doing.

So I'm off to write a *gasp* sex scene. To get in the mood, so to speak, I'm listening to the
Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Listening to this guy sing:







could get anyone in the mood. Seriously.

Writely woes.

I'm having a problem with College for Witches. Actually I'm having a lot of problems, but this is a new one that's really frustrating me.

I want my two main characters, Elvira and Aiden, to have sex. And the two of them are more than willing. Every time I try to write a scene where they kiss, it escalates to them almost ripping each others clothes off no matter where they are which they don't have permission to do yet.

So you're probably wondering, what's the problem? You want them to and they want to. Well, the problem is this: I can't figure out how to fit it into the story.

Aiden breaks it off with El in the middle of the story, but I do want them to get back together after El goes through something traumatic. But I feel like if they have sex before he breaks it off it will make people hate him and not want him back in her life. Cause sex is a big deal to El. And I'm afraid that if they do it after the traumatic event it will be like she's only doing it because she's scared and grateful. Which isn't what I want it to be about.

I guess for now everyone is going to have to stay fully dressed whether they like it or not. Cause I'm the author and I say so!

Trying Harder

Well hello. Been awhile no?

I won't make any promises, but I hoping that's not going to happen again. I'm going to start trying harder at everything. I'm hoping to make this blog more writing related since I've been working it more lately.

So enough chitchat! Writerly report starts now!

I'm still trying to finish up my NANO novel that hasn't even reach 50,000 yet but it's coming along easier now. I'm hoping to have it finished up this month but you never know with me (I'm kind of flaky but I'm working on it)

(That's sort of my new motto: I'm working on it)

Something that might hinder College for Witches is that a new-old story is calling out to me again. It's new because I'm going to starting over from the beginning and it's old because I'm written like four drafts of this at least but it never comes together. Since I've been having this problem, I'm trying something new for me. Something I used to be very against. Ready?

Outlining.

Yeah. I'm working on an outline. I got the idea to give an outline the old college try from a couple people from AW and because I'm reading The Complete Idiots Guide to Creative Writing. It's full of all these helpful tips and it really makes me think I can thrive with a new system. So here's hoping.

Hell, this time I might even be able to come up with a title!

Week Three

I'm about to head off to work so I'll make this short.

Down four pounds this week. For those of you playing the home game, that's eleven pounds total.

Herbalife shake program is going well, even though it's hard to plan ahead all the time. Especially if you're as forgetful as me.

School is sucking.

Writing makes me feel amazing.

The end.

Random Check In

There goes week two of diet and exercise. I did crappy this week. I skipped out on working out for three days. And I went to McDonalds. Twice. Color me ashamed. Buutttt. I'm still down one more pound. Since I was expecting to have gain, can't say I'm not please. That's seven pounds in two weeks. Woo and hoo.

In other news, I've started writing again. I've been so terrified of writing something bad that I stopped writing all together. So that wrapped in with not exercising, let's just say this week was a crabby week for me. Excluding Sunday and Wednesday.

Now I'm not even going to go into everything that happened on Sunday (you probably wouldn't believe me even if I told you), but on Wednesday, Jamie, Kacie, and I went dancing at Stargate. Tons of fun. I forgot how much I missed hanging out with girls. And dancing. I love going dancing.

One last random update before I go pass out, school. Blahhhhh. I'm trying but not doing an amazing job.

(Suprise, suprise)

Pride. I has it.

So one week ago today, I joined a gym and started to eat healthier. I've gone every day except for one. Already, I feel better. I have more energy, I'm thinking clearer, and I want to keep going every time I'm there. I have to stop myself so I don't end up hurting in the morning. And in this week, I've lost...... six pounds!

After the first week, it's not healthy to lose more than two pounds, so this is likely to be my biggest lose. But it's a hell of a start. I'm only weighing myself once a week so I don't get discourage when the numbers are just melting away.

One of the reasons I'm proud of myself is because I'm not good at sticking to things. One week and I'm going strong. I owe that to the lovely people over at AW who have been holding me accountable. They're helping more than they realize.

Since I've been working out, it's been easier to get other things done that I've been lacking. Mostly school. I'm still behind, but I'm slowly and surely catching up.

Every week, I'm going to post my progress, even if I don't lose weight. I've promised myself that I won't let that discourage me. I'll tell myself, "Muscle weighs more than fat, look in the mirror instead of the scale, are my clothes looser?"

Wish me luck!

BEST EVER

This is the best post secret I've ever seen

The Simple Things.

The simple things in life, like making T-shirts with your name on them with your best friend, painting on fake mustaches, watching movies until three in the morning, making yummy noises at a delicious but sadly deceased man, and awkward meeting the family moments, are what make my life worth living.

I love you, Becca.

I get my hopes up way too easily

My dad is a computer programmer. A very good computer programmer. He's spent a lot of his adult life (including most of my childhood) traveling for his job. This meant I also got to travel a lot, at least for visits (my favorite was L.A. by far). His contract for one company would end, and he would search for a new one. But from the time he starts looking for a new job and when he actually gets one can be rather long. He usually has a couple different prospects but it depends on quite a few variables before he actually chooses/gets one of them.

Keep in mind that I'm really tired while typing this, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense.

So, why am I talking about this? Because my dad's contract at his current job is going to be over with in a few months. He's been looking at a couple other places, including Boston, Mas, a.k.a my birth place. I was only about three months old if I remember correctly when we moved away from Boston. And for quite some time now, I've had a huge hankering to go back. Like, Huge. So when my dad calls me up and mentions this, my heart goes soaring.

At first I thinking, Holy I'm actually going to be able to visit Boston! Which really would have been enough for me. But then, my dad (or maybe it was me) brought up me living there. And he (this time I know it was him) mentions being able to go up to New York City (which I've wanted to do since I was like eight. It's even on my To Do List). And now, I'm so set on this happening.

Which, experience has taught me, means I'm in for a huge disappointment.

Books Read In 2009

1. Atonement by Ian McEwan
2. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan.
3. Up in Smoke by Katie MacAlister
4. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
5. Undead and Unwed by MaryJanice Davidson reread.
6. The Host by Stephanie Meyer reread.
7. The Trouble with Magic by Madelyn Alt
8. A Charmed Death by Madelyn Alt
9. Wake by Lisa McMann
10. Stardust by Neil Gaiman
11. Undead and Unemployed by MaryJanice Davidson reread
12. Undead and Unappreciated by MaryJanice Davidson reread
13. Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson
14. Zen and The Art of Vampires By Katie MacAlister
15. Blue is for Nightmares by Laurie Faria Stolarz reread
16. Anatomy of a Boyfriend by Daria Snadowsky
17. Sex and the Psychic Witch by Annette Blair
18. Harry Potter and the Sorceresses' Stone by J.K. Rowling reread
19. Confession of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella audio book
20. The Princess Bride by William Goldman
21. City of Bones by Cassandra Clark
22. Lord Loss by Darren Shan
23. He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
24. Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
25. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling reread
27. City of Ashes by Cassandra Clark
28-30. Night World Vol. 1 by L.J. Smith
31. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling reread
32. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling reread
33. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling reread
34. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling reread
35. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling reread
36. White Witch, Black Curse by Kim Harrison.
37. Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling
38. Hex Marks the Spot by Madelyn Alt
39. Gossip Girl by Cecily von Ziegesar reread
40. You Know You Love Me by Cecily von Ziegesar reread
41. All I Want Is Everything by Cecily von Ziegesar reread
42. Skin Trade by Laurell K. Hamilton
43. Because I'm Worth It by Cecily von Ziegesar reread
44. I Like It Like That by Cecily van Ziegesar
45. Dracula by Bram Storker
46. Tithe by Holly Black
47. You Slay Me by Katie MacAlister reread
48. No Rest For The Wiccan by Madelyn Alt
49. Valiant by Holly Black
50. You're The One That I Want by Cecily van Ziegesar
51. Pendragon: Merchant of Death by D.J. MacHale reread
52. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
53. Need by Carrie Jones
54. If Angels Burn by Lynn Viehl
55. Cirque Du Freak: A Living Nightmare by Darren Shan reread
56. Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan reread
57. Cirque Du Freak: Tunnels of Blood by Darren Shan reread
58. Cirque Du Freak: Vampire Mountain by Darren Shan reread
59. A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks
60. Private Demon by Lynn Viehl
61. Hawk Song by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
62. Shopaholic Takes Manhattan by Sophie Kinsella audiobook
63. Vampire Academy by Rachel Mead
64. Nobody Does It Better by Cecily van Ziegesar
65. Sweep: Dark Magick by Cate Tiernan
66. Pendragon: The Lost City of Faar by D.J. MacHale reread
67. Demon Thief by Darren Shan
68. Macbeth by Shakespeare
69. City of Glass by Cassandra Clark
70. Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris
71. A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray
72. Cirque Du Freak: Trials of Death by Darren Shan reread
73. Sweep: Awakening by Cate Tiernan
74. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
75. The Scot, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by Annette Blair
76. Nothing Can Keep Us Together by Cecily van Ziegesar
77. Magic in the Wind by Christine Feehan
78. Where's There's a Witch By Madelyn Alt
79. Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin
80. Shakespeare's Landlord by Charlaine Harris

I don't post here enough.

Hmm. Too true. Let's see.
Some updates on Amanda's life.



I may be going to Florida this summer with this beautiful woman if I can save the money up. It's going to be about an eight to nine hundred dollar trip, so fingers crossed.

Job is the same. Unimportant and way beneath me but I can deal with that for now. I mean, I'm only 18. I'm not supposed to have my life set in stone yet. Plus side, I got a raise. I now make a whole $7.25! Haha.

I found my home. Online home anyways. Absolute Write Water Cooler is my new favorite sites. I never really got why people like forums. I am so on the ball now. We talk about writing, books, movies, life itself. It's great stuff. Plus there's a whole thread dictated to the hottest of men and women.

I think that's about the it. I'll end this with pictures of the two hottest people on Earth.

WANT!