Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tuesday Teaser (Cept it's really Wednesday)

The folks over at the YA forum on AW do a Tuesday Teaser every week. I've been thinking about joining in for awhile, but I've been afraid. Their Teaser are all so good and my first drafts almost never are. Now, some of this may be 3 am talking but I've decided to screw it. I'm going for it. Here's a scene from my NaNo project that I just finished not too long ago.

It's from the male MC's perceptive. The two are at a coffee shop, catching up, and they are about to leave. He starts reliving the day that the female MC moved away when they were young. Now, be gentle. Remember it's a very rough draft and NaNo. Which means I cranked it out as fast as possible without any second guessing or editing. On that note, tell me what you think.

It was obvious to him that Grace was starting to come to the same conclusion, but Reece wasn’t ready to let her go yet. Every time he thought of them parting ways, the scene of her moving away at the end of seventh grade popped into his head.

She had ran over to his house again, as she had so many times before. The day before, she had begged him to come see her off but he said he couldn’t. Even though she asked for a reason a hundred times, he never gave her one. He didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t stand her leaving him and he didn’t want to deal with it. If he didn’t watch her drive off, he could pretend it didn’t happen, at least for a little while.

But Grace could not leave without saying goodbye. They both knew they would regret not getting in a last goodbye, but that didn’t make it any easier for Reece or for Grace. Even so, literally five minutes before her mom was planning to leave, she fled to him.

He had been watching TV, but he couldn’t have told anyone what was on. What he was really doing was not thinking about Grace. He couldn’t. Then there was a knock on the door. Reece seriously considered not answering it, but he heard her small, broken voice calling out to him.


“Reece,” she choked, followed by another knock. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger and actually sounded like her, “Reece, I know you’re in there, God damn it. Answer this door right now or else I’m coming in there and kicking your skinny little ass.”

She pounded on the door. He had moved while she was talking and was standing just on the other side of the door, still debating whether or not to open it. It was when a small sob reached his ears that he wrenched the door open.


Immediately, he was slapped across his face. Less than a second later, Grace flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head into his chest. Reece rested his chin on top of her head and stroked her hair. She was shaking, silently crying into him. He began whispering softly to her, telling her it was going to be alright even though he didn’t believe it himself.

After what seemed like hours, she lifted her head and stared into his eyes. Moving his hands to cradle her face, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Slowly, she shook her head back and forth, “No. It’s not going to be alright. How can it be alright? How can I be alright without…” she stopped and bit her trembling lower lip.

“Without what?” Reece searched her face, hoping to find a hint at what she couldn’t live without.

She let out an exasperated sigh and yelled, “Without you, idiot! You’ve always been here with me. You’ve gotten me through every hard time I have ever had. How am I going to get by without you? Especially since I’m in love with you, stupid!”

There they were. The words he had wanted to hear for so long. Without so much as a thought, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her as deeply and as best as he knew how. Her body tightened around him and one of his hands traveled to her hair while the other continued to cradle her cheek. They had both kissed people before but it had always been chaise and innocence. This kiss felt anything but innocence. It felt heated and passionate. Grace’s mouth opened and Reece was surprised momentarily when her tongue entered his mouth. It took him about a second to recover before he returned the gentle touch.

It seemed like that moment was going to last forever, but no matter how perfect the moment, it must end. Theirs came to a halt when Grace’s mother pulled into the driveway and honked her horn. Grace broke the kiss but didn’t back away or drop her hold on him. She examined his face as if she was trying to memorize every freckle. Her mom honked again. Grace pressed another kiss against his lips than ran towards the car without so much as a glance back at the boy she was leaving behind.

Reece watched their car disappear. He knew that the world wasn’t going to end, but at fourteen, losing his best friend and the girl he was in love with sure felt like the end. As he turned back towards his house, the first tear fell. And it was a long time before the last one did too.

“Grace,” Reece said impulsively, “Would you like to go for a walk with me?” He knew he was being stupid. He knew he would see her in a few days at the most, but the fourteen year old boy on the doorstep was screaming at him not to let her go again.

I probably used way too many commas, but that will all get fleshed out later. Thanks for your input if you decide to comment. If not, well fine. I didn't want your comment anyways. =]

5 comments:

Krista Ashe said...

I like this! I love how forceful Grace is, and I love the desperation of hitting him over and over while also crying. It totally evokes emotion. I really wanna know where she is going and where the story is going!

Welcome to Teaser Tuesday! I'm glad you decided to join in!!!

Amna said...

You want my comment ;)

Hehe, I really love the beautiful prose here. You really get into the minds of your MC, I felt like I knew them after a few paragraphs!

It was also very tense, and very emotional!

<33

Kaitlin Ward said...

aww I liked this. A great, emotional scene. (Sorry for taking long to comment--I try to comment when things are posted, but I slip on Wednesdays because they're busy.)

Amanda said...

Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you commented at all.

Thanks to all of you! I'm really glad you enjoyed the scene! It came at the perfect time, since I was feeling pretty crappy about the whole story. =]

Paranormalchick said...

Loved this! Great emotion! I like where this story is going, Can't wait to see what happens.

 
Absolute Write
AW Bloggers Unite!
AW Bloggers Unite!