Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Freshman Affair, a teaser!

Hello all! It's Tuesday Teaser Time! (See. I am trying to blog more. I wasn't lying) This is a scene from The Freshman Affair, which I haven't worked on in awhile but it's been sneaking into my mind again lately. Remember, contemporary YA (yes I'm still calling it YA even if my MCs are freshman in college) isn't my strong suit but I'm trying. Let me know what you think!




Grace had finally pulled herself away from her homework at about one-thirty a.m. and had sunk into bed without even changing out of her clothes. When her alarm rang out loudly on her bedside table, she almost chucked the thing across the room. But then she realized it would just be one more thing she’d have to take care of before class, so she satisfied the urge by slamming down on the top with a bit more force then necessary. It wasn’t much, but it would do.

“Urgh… What time is it?” Her roommate, Casey, slurred from her side of the room.

Grace let out a big yawn before she responded, “It’s about nine. Sorry babe, I didn’t know you were here or else I would have just used my phone as an alarm.”

Casey sat up in bed and stretched, “Don’t worry about it. If you hadn’t woke me up, I probably would have missed my class. I didn’t pour myself into bed until about four.”

She laughed, “So who was he this time?”

At first, Casey looked defensive but then she let out a burst of bright, bubbly laughter, “His name was Chad. He’s on the football team,” she cracked her neck loudly, “He was definitely worth being sore and tired for.”

Sometimes, Grace didn’t know why her and Casey were still friends. Casey was still very stuck in the partying and hooking up phase that Grace had outgrown after she got out of the psych ward. She didn’t mind going to a party and drinking every one and then but for Casey is was basically a nightly ritual. Grace didn’t know how she did it.

But then Grace remembered how Casey stuck by her, even when most of her friends were calling her a freak. Casey defended her and told people off who said anything bad about her. Casey might have been a little loose in her morals, but she had always been a fierce and loyal friend. She was worth keeping in Grace’s life.

So instead of making some judgmental comment that a lot of people would, Grace just laughed and said, “I bet he’s saying the same about you right now.”

Casey tsked, “Please. After the things I did to that boy, he’s not going to be able to walk, much less form complete sentences.”

Grace laughed loudly and shook her head. “Hey, I’m going to call Tristan quick, see if he maybe wants to grab breakfast before class.” Casey nodded and started gathering up her bathroom bag so she could go take a shower.

But Grace didn’t get a chance to dial before a text message caught her eye. Gracie. If I could, I would punch your step dad in the face. Love, Reece.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

VDGP Teaser

Since I usually post an intense scene from VDGP, I figured I'd show you that I do, sometimes, let my characters be happy. Here is a lighter scene between Gwen and Jay.



“I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually. You are stuck with me for the rest of your life, you know.” I leaned back against him and breathed in his scent deeply. He smelled masculine and musky, like he been holed up reading old books for days. It was a smell I had come to know as home in the last two years.

Jay wrapped his muscular arms around me and met my eyes in the mirror, “My dear Gwendolyn,” I rolled my eyes at my full name but didn’t say anything. Even though I wasn’t fond of it, it never sounded better than when it came from his mouth, “tell me about the dream.” I sighed heavily and considered not telling him. I didn’t really want to drag it back to the surface but I knew deep down it would make me feel better if I talked about it. And who better to confine in then my friendly vampire boyfriend.

Just as I opened my mouth to tell him there was a scratch at the door and I heard our puppy Howie whining just outside the door. We usually let him sleep in the room with us but last night we wanted some alone time and it was surprising how fast getting your feet licked by a dog could ruin the mood. I smiled and Jay dropped his arms so I could open the door.

Howie, our three month old Rottweiler, came bounding in. He tried two times to jump onto our bed but keep sliding off of our silk sheets before Jay picked him up and sat him on the bed. Howie jumped on his chest and started licking his face. Jay fell back onto the bed, laughing. I watched the from the door and smiled. I may have lost my parents when I was eight, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have a family.

Howie stopped licking Jay long enough to turn and look at him. He barked firmly at me once as if to say, “Get over here silly!” before turning his attention back to Jay. I laughed wholeheartedly and went to join them on the bed. As soon as I sat down Howie jumped onto my lap and served me with my daily serving of morning kisses. Howie was usually playful and loving but whenever we left him to sleep in his dog bed in the living room, he acted as if he hadn’t seen us in days. I giggled as he assured himself that we were really there and hadn’t left him. When he was satisfied, he flopped himself into my lap and panted. He was growing so fast that in another couple months he wouldn’t be able to fit in my lap anymore. I scratched him behind his ears and turned to Jay smiling.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Teaser... Er... Thursday?

Since I missed out last week, and am posting this two days late, I figured I'd post two teaser today to make up for it a bit. And there's a reward at the end. Just for you guys. This first one is from The Freshman Affair.


She reached for the door handle, but stopped herself, suddenly nervous. She looked down at herself and straightened her gray skirt that fell just above her knees. At that moment, she was very glad she had decided to dress up a little this morning. She had paired the skirt with her favorite long sleeved blue v-neck that showed just a taste of cleavage and had a gray bird that trailed up her side. Quickly, she ran her fingers through her wavy brown hair, took a deep breath, and pushed through the door.


Reece had been pacing in front of the doors nervously, wondering what was taking her so long. Right when he had convinced himself that he should go back, just in case something happened to her, Grace came through the door.

She walked up to him and opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. He tried to think of something, anything to say, but his mind was completely blank. Not a damn thing came to mind. All he could was stare at her.

In some ways, she looked completely different. The last time he saw her, she was about three inches shorter, her hair reached the middle of her back, and she was still a girl, small in more ways then one. Now she had grown up, in more ways then one. He couldn’t help it when his eyes grazed over her chest and he couldn’t stop the blood from rushing to the lower parts of his anatomy. When he managed to regain himself, he continued his inspection of her. Another thing that surprised him was that she had cut her hair so it barely rested on her shoulders. Before she moved away, her long hair was her favorite feature. She had adamantly claimed that she would never cut it above her shoulder blades. It took him a minute to decided whether or not he liked it but he noticed it framed her face perfectly, causing her fair skin and delicate features to be even more striking. As she had grown taller, the bit of baby fat she carried with her up until middle school had disappeared completely. Super model skinny, no. Healthy looking, yes. Even with all these differences, just underneath it he could still the girl he’d grown up with. His first real crush.

She’s beautiful. Reece had always thought so, even when they were just toddlers running around on the playground, but it was different now. She looked put together and mature. She looked young and hopeful. She was simply beautiful. And Reece was surprised when his throat tightened and his mouth ran dry. Grace was affecting him more than any girl had in years.

Finally, it was Grace who broke the silence first, “Reece Brooks. What a pleasant surprise.” Her voice was soft and even, as if she was completely calm.

Reece took a few breaths before answering, trying to bring that same level of calm indifference to his voice. “Grace Reynolds,” he barely got her name out before she flung her arms around his waist. Reece tensed up, surprised, but after a moment, relaxed and returned her embrace. Grace was about seven inches shorter than him so her head was pressed against his chest and he could rest his chin easily on her head.

He heard her mumble something against his chest so he pulled back, “What was that?”

Her eyes were full of emotion and Reece thought he saw tears welling up in her eyes but they never spilled out, “I’m so glad you’re here.”



And here is the second one, this one from VDGP:

It wasn’t hard to find the crime scene. First off, it was less then two blocks away from the street Jay and I had been patrolling the night before. That worried me more than I’d like to admit. Dante’s face crept into my thoughts but I pushed him away. If I thought about it, there was a very good chance I’d have a breakdown. Yet another thing I’d never admit out loud.

Secondly, there could be no mistaking the bright flashing lights of the cop cars, ambulances, even fire trucks. A van with the words City Morgue painted on the side went by us just as we found a place to park.

“Damn. There goes the bodies. I was hoping to avoid a trip to the morgue if I could.”

Riley nods, oddly silence. I touched his arm and he met my eye. “What’s wrong?” I asked, genuine concern filling my voice.

He shivered once, “There’s a reason I never go on any of these things. I’m not good with violence and dead bodies and cops.”

“You could have stayed home. I wouldn’t have held it against you.”

He scoffed, “Bullshit, I coulda stayed home. You knew the second you mentioned Dante’s name I’d go with you. I couldn’t leave you to face any of this alone, and you knew that,” he sighed heavily before visibly shaking himself, “I’m not mad. But don’t pretend I could be anywhere but here right now.”

I hung my head, ashamed. Riley was the only one I told the whole story to, even the parts about Jay. And I know I shouldn’t have. He was right. I did know he’d come along if Dante was involved. The truth was, I wasn’t the only one to lose part of my family the night my parents died. Riley’s parents and mine had been so close that Riley called them Aunt and Uncle, just as I did with his. If Dante could be a part of this in anyway, Riley would be by my side the whole way. And it wasn’t fair to him.

“I’m sorry. You’re not wrong. I did know you’d never say no. I just.. I couldn’t do this alone you know?” My voice wavered and I hated myself for it.

Riley put his arm around me and pulled me into a half hug. His lips pressed a kiss into my hair. “I know.” He held me like that for a moment longer, then let me go. Part of me wanted to wrap his arm back around me and hide in his arms, but I would never allow myself to do that. Not even in private, definitely not at a crime scene.




And now for your reward:


A soaking wet Jake Gyllenhaal:
And for my guy readers,













































(Click to see full picture. Too lazy to screw with the size)
Cause she is so damn hot.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tuesday Teaser! Finally.

I was going to post a new scene I wrote for VDGP, but after Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional came on in the car, I needed to work on The Freshman Affair. The song is perfect for Grace and Reece's story. Perrrrfect. I came home and wrote the following scene (and a bit more) in all of fifteen minutes. The words just flew out. I love when a song can inspire you like that. It's a great feeling.

Alright, enough talk. Here is said scene.

Grace and Reece were doing more talking than studying, no matter how hard Grace tried to force him to concentrate. Their Psychology books lay all but forgotten in front of them.

“Reece, shut up already. You’re already falling behind in school and I’m trying to help you,” She stabbed his book dramatically. “Let’s get to work already!”

“Pssht. I don’t need school. I plan on getting by on my looks, thank you.”

She tossed her pencil at him and frowns. Reece quickly pocketed it. “There. Now we can’t study. You seem to have lost your pencil.” His grin was cocky and triumphant.

Before he could react, Grace threw the book from her lap and launched herself at him. She tried to pin him to the ground and wrestle the pencil back from him, but he easily rolled her over, pinning her instead.

“Bad move, Reynolds,” Reece declared, then started to tickle her. Grace shrieked, struggled, and laughed loudly all at the same time. She was insanely ticklish, and Reece hadn’t forgotten.

Happy laughter bubbled out of Grace’s mouth as she tried to speak, “Puh… Please,” she giggled harder, “I surrender!” She practically shouted at him. “You win, stop! Stop!”

Reece nodded happily and stopped his assault on her. Grace met his eyes, tears in hers from laughing so much. Reece’s smile faded and a look of intensity replaced it. He was still on top of her, impossible warm and close. For a moment, she forgot herself and Tristan. She let herself be the girl in seventh grade who had been so in love with him. She let herself get lost in those beautiful hazel eyes that brought back such wonderful memories from her childhood.

Then he started to bring his lips to hers.

Grace scrambled out from under him. Standing up, she kept backing away until her back hit the wall. Reece sank back on his heels and wouldn’t meet her eye.

“Reece,” she began, “I can’t. Tristan,” Reece’s hand shot up in the air to stop her.

“I’ve got to go.” He packed up his things and left without saying another word.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Lessons in writing

I used to think I had to start my story from the beginning and write straight through to the end. So when I would get stuck, I just gave up. If one scene wouldn't come to me, the whole novel would end up getting trunked.

Thank God I grew out of that.

I used to think I could only wing it. Planning and outlining were not for me. And yet, I couldn't finish a draft. I would get to about the 20k mark, and lose the story completely because I didn't have a plan about where it was going. (I knew how it would start and how I wanted it to end. The middle was a mystery to me)

But I now know that doesn't work for me either.

I came to a realization today that I wanted to share with you all:

I am growing as a writer.

I'm slowly but surely learning what works for me and what doesn't. My writing is getting better the more I do it. I am even getting more disciplined when it comes to a writing schedule. I am actually working at achieving my dream.

I know that I have a long way to go. I know that no one ever stops growing as a writer (hopefully anyways). But I'm on the right track. And it feels good.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Putting faces to names

This is something that we're fond of over at the YA forum on Absolute Write, finding celebrities that look like our characters! It's fun and inspirational. Looking at someone and thinking, "That's so [insert character's name here]!" can, and has for me, refresh your desire to get their stories on paper.

You've heard me whine about them and read some of the hell I've put them through, and now ladies and gentlemen, I give you the characters from VDGP!!!

First off, Gwen. One of the main weapons Gwen has is that her appearance is incredibly deceiving. She looks soft, harmless, and even helpless. Hell, she looks downright innocence. Although, as many of her foes have learned, she's anything but.

Natalie Dormer is perfect for Gwen. She's the last person you'd expect to chop off your head, right? Well, she can. And has.

Next up is Jaiden, nickname Jay. Jay has a more mature look to him and could be described as ruggedly handsome. He knows what he wants and he goes after it. A man of little words with a shady past. He turns heads and knows it. Only one man came to mind for Jay,
Gerard Butler. He fits perfectly in my brain for Jay. I think he would play the strong, silent type beautifully. Now, Gwen and Jay might not look like they fit together, but they are both what the other person needs and that's all that matters to them.

Chris is rebellious, hot-headed, and a major pain in Gwen's ass. Once again, I found a man who just fit.

If VDGP was ever made into a movie, I would insist on Jensen Ackles. He is absolutely perfect.

And finally, Riley is Gwen's only family. He was the only thing that kept her sane when she lost her parents. He's loving, outgoing, and extremely open. Riley is probably my favorite character I've ever written. I've always had a thing for the best friend character and Riley does it better than anyone.

A young Heath Ledger, happy and carefree, is a perfect fit. When he was young, Heath looked like nothing bad had ever happened to him, and Riley is the same way.

So there they are. My characters. Aside from Jensen Ackles/Chris, they all have little things I would change (eye color, hair length, etc.) but other than that, they are what I see when I'm writing. From the teasers I've posted, do they make sense to you or are you sitting there like, "What is she on?"

Anyone else do this? If so, you should do a blog post and leave me a link! I'd love to see what your characters look like to you.



(Look! Two posts in two days!!! I really am trying harder!)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Character CPR

VDGP (Which may have a new title soon) has been dying a slow, painful death. I've almost lost Gwen's voice completely. Hence the blog silence lately. No new writing means no new teasers.

Thankfully, I've thought of a way to hopefully revive this story. I'm going through and writing some Character worksheets (which is probably something I should have done in the first place). So far, I've only done Gwen's but this her voice is already starting to fill my head again. It's a great feeling.

Since I'm still new at 'seriously' writing (meaning trying to make money from it some day), I am still trying to find a way that works for me. I've read blog after blog about other people's methods, and have found one thing in common: ACTUALLY WRITING. Which is surprisingly harder than it sounds. I hope you will all stick with me through this insanely difficult journey that is writing.

So my faithful readers (even though I'm a less then faithful blogger), I am back in the game. Reviving my characters, my voice, and my motivation. Wish me luck. Because Jake Gyllenhaal says so.
And you can't say no to that face.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Welcome and a Teaser.

First of all, I'd like to say hello to some of the new followers I've picked up. Hello new followers! I can't tell you how awesome I think you caring about what I post is. I've been trying to post more often but real life has a tendency to get in the way. But here's what you can usually expect from me:
  1. A post at least once a week.
  2. Usually a teaser from my current work in progress
  3. Complaints about said WIP
  4. Adult content every now and then.
  5. Annnddd...


Pictures of beautiful men (and yes. I do know this is the real reason y'all keep coming back.)

Anyways, on to the teaser! This is after a hunt and Gwen just got out of the infirmary. Some adult content in this one but nothing too explicit. Enjoy.

Jay motioned me towards him, his tongue slowly licking his bottom lip. Before I made my way over to him, I took my sweet time undressing, letting my hands linger over buttons and drawing his eyes where I wanted them. I ran my fingers in the waistline of my pants before unbuttoning them; my hands skimmed the edges of my breasts before I slipped out of my shirt.

Jay’s gaze went from hungry to concerned when he saw the bruises that decorated my torso. I tried not to pout as he left the bed and stood solemnly in front of me. There was little arousal in his touch as he methodically prodded my wounds. A frown emerged when he took in my bandaged shoulder. He raised his eyebrows in a question. I rolled my eyes then nodded. Peeling away the gauze, he examined my shoulder.

He sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I’m surprised you are out of the infirmary. From what I can tell, you’re lucky to have use of your arm. That guy really tore into you.”

I started to shift uncomfortably, but stopped myself. Jay didn’t like it when I left against doctor’s order, but so what? It was my life and I was going to do what I was going to do. I met his eyes, daring him to lecture me, “Dr. Galloway didn’t want me to leave, but I wasn’t going to hang around there. I feel fine.”

Suddenly, Jay poked a particularly nasty looking bruise roughly. I gasped and bent over. “Oh yes. You are in top condition.”

I snarled at him and lashed out, but he easily stepped out of reach. He held his hand up in surrender. “I should not have done that. I was just making a point. I apologize.” I gritted my teeth to tell him to fuck off, but his words were genuine and it would have just been childish.

Straightening, I said coolly, “Fine. Just don’t do it again.” We stood there for a moment, both of us unsure what to do.

Jay slowly trailed his eyes down my body once more, but this time his fingers went with it. A gasp escaped me with the sudden change in atmosphere. It was like our little exchanged had never happened. The air was once again thick with passion and heat. Jay’s slow stroke sent small shots electricity down my body and settled between my legs. My breath increased as Jay's fingers did too.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I'm back to teasing!

Told you I'd be back this week. This teaser is the continuation from the last teaser I posted. The main villain, Dante, is tormenting Gwen and Chris. Here we go.


I couldn’t tear my gaze away from Dante so I don’t know how Chris reacted. It must have been with fear because a small smile appeared on Dante’s lips before his attention turned back to me. Another small noise attempted to escape from my lips, but I squashed it. I tried to tell myself that I was braver than this, stronger, but Dante’s presence stripped me of it all. He made me eight years old again, weak and helpless. The thought should have made me anger, it should have made me fight back, but it didn’t.

“The city is really quite beautiful. I have always liked it here. It holds such wonderful memories for me,” he licked his lips slowly, deliberately, as if he was remembering a particularly tasty treat. His fingers stroked my cheek lovingly and I couldn’t help shaking, “But I never imagined you stay here. I thought I had ruined this place for you. Apparently, I gave myself too much credit. But thankfully, I have the chance to make up for it.” He released my face and started to circle around me.

“But there is someone here I was even more surprised and pleased to see. Someone I’ve been missing these past few years.” He sighed longingly. “No matter. My dorato raggazzo* and I will be reacquainted soon enough.” Dante was at my back and leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “I believe you know him as Jaiden.”

I gasped audibly as my knees gave out on me. My stomach heaved and I retched on the pavement. When my stomach emptied, I wiped my mouth and met Dante’s eye. He had a bemused smile on his face and his eyes were filled with pleasure.

Finally, some spark of me flare to life and I forced myself to my feet. After a few deep breaths, I snarled through clenched teeth, “I am going to kill you.”

Dante laughed joyfully. It made me shutter and flinch. When I opened my eyes, his was gone.


*Means Golden boy in Italian. At least according to the website I looked it up on.

So. Whatcha think?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

It may be Tuesday, but...

I have no teaser. Why, you may ask? Because I have been writing very little lately.

I work too much. I'm tired all the time. I... I... Shit. I have no excuses. I just haven't been doing it.

Shame on me, I know.

But I'm going to start writing more. I swearz it. VDGP is going really well whenever I do sit down and force myself to work.

Expect an awesome (I hope anyways) teaser next week.

























"Wait, was I mad at Amanda for something? JRM distracted me.... Oh well." *continues drooling staring at JRM*

And so Angie will forgive me,


















If James Marsden doesn't do the trick, nothing will.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

End of the year post

I wasn't going to do one of these, but I've been lazy and absent lately so I figured I might as well.

2009 was a mixed year for me. Writing wise and personally.

Even though I'm not quite where I want to be when it comes to writing, I did start working at it more this past year.

I don't like looking back in the past, so instead here are some personal and professional goals for the coming year.

1. Get my own apartment. I'm nineteen years old and still living with my father. Now, that might not seem too bad for some of you, but after living on my own for a year it's really hard living with a parent again.

2. Finish up high school. By this summer, I'm going to be a goddamn high school graduate if it kills me.

3. Finish all three drafts I started in 2009. For VDGP, that shouldn't be too hard. That story still speaks to me the most. College For Witches, on the other hand, needs to be totally ripped apart and redone. TFA is going to need a lot of work as well.

4. Start at least one completely new story.

5. FINISH NANO! Nano has defeated me two years in a row and I won't stand of it again.

6. Read 100 books, which is only 20 more than I read this year. Shouldn't be too hard.

7. I have some fitness and weight goals for next year too but I won't go into detail there.

8. Post on here at least once a week.

I'm sure I have more goals as the year goes on. But even if I just reach a few of these, I'll be damn proud of myself. I hope everyone keeps checking in withe me and hounds me every now and then about these goals. Something about people I've never met before yelling at me motivates me strongly.

Anyone else have some goals for the new year?


Oh yeah. One more goal:




































10. Spend more time looking at hot men, like Jensen Ackles. It just makes my day seem so much brighter.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Another Tuesday, Another Teaser.

This scene is when the main villain comes into play. Enjoy.

My mouth opened to say something, maybe to give Chris a warning but I can’t seem to form the words. The complete and utter fear was back and nothing on my body seemed to worked.

“Well, aren't you going to welcome me back? After all, I left you some presents as a welcoming. Shouldn’t you repay me?” Dante’s voice was smooth and haunting. I started to shake and clutched Chris’ arms to me.

“Who the fuck are you?” Chris growled angrily. I gave him a hard squeeze in warning. The last thing we needed was for him to piss Dante off. He shot a questioning look down at me, his eyes full of anger. But when he saw my face, the emotion faded away rapidly. He could tell that I was terrified and it threw him off. He had never seen me like this and he didn’t know what to think or do. I tried to shake my head at him but couldn't manage it. I wanted to scream for him to run, to get away but couldn't.

Dante moved and my head snapped back to look at him. He grinned maliciously and answered with a bow, “I am Dante. You must be…Christopher. It is so good to finally meet you face to face.” My blood turned to ice when he said Chris’ name. How did he know? Had he been watching me?

Thankfully, Chris didn't respond. I think he finally realized who was standing in front of us and the fear had set in. His body went rigid and he grabbed my hand behind my back, gripping hard.

“Hmm. I can see I’ll be the one carrying on the conversation,” he slinked toward me and I cringed away. There was a flash of movement and his hand was on my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. I whimpered and tried to pull away but he held me still. Chris shifted behind me, “Move and I’ll snap her neck,” The movement stopped. “Back away child. I wish to speak to my pet without you interfering.”

Chris hesitated, trying to decide what to do. Just listen to him. Run, Chris. Run. I thought fervently at him. After a moment, Chris dropped my hand and backed away, causing me to stumble. I had been leaning on him more than I realized; he had been practically holding me up.

“She’s not your pet,” Chris spat at Dante and I flinched. Dante’s eyes lifted off my face and stared at Chris. The coldness was gone from his eyes, they were positively on fire.

“I look forward to teaching you respect, Christopher. Unfortunately, the tough guys are usually the ones who break the easiest. Still, I will enjoy it no matter how short the affair will be.”



I think I fixed all the tense issues I was having. While I was writing this, I was reading a book written in pretense tense so it came sneaking into my own writing. Let me know if you see something I missed!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tuesday Teaser.

I'm really tired so I'm not going to explain the scene. I think you'll be able to understand it on your own. *Insert usual disclaimer about how rough the selection is.* Enjoy.


He stared at me for several moments before he broke, “I’m sure you have some questions for me.”

I lifted my eyebrows, “What makes you think that? It’s not like an evil vampire bitch just told me that you were involved with another evil vampire that killed my parents. Oh wait…”

He sighed and stared at his hands. “I know how you must be feeling.”

Something inside me snapped at this. Anger rose inside me, leaving a trail as hot as fire, and settled in my throat. I tried to swallow it but it burst from my lips and I shouted, “Really? You know what it’s like to relive your parents murder? You know what it’s like to not know if you can trust the person you love above anyone else? Really?” I was suddenly standing over him and I didn’t remember moving. My breath was ragged and I had to clench my teeth shut to stop myself from screaming.

Jay sat there completely peaceful. I had the sudden urge to strike him. My fist clenched in yearning but I forced it open. His total passiveness pissed me off more than him screaming back would have.

“Well?!” I demanded, placing my hand on my hips and tapping my foot.

“I wish I had a better answer for you then I do,” his perfect mask slipped for a moment and I saw the hurt in his eyes. I must have reacted because he turned from me to stare out the window. “I haven’t been lying to you. It’s always been the truth between us. Most of my life is a complete mystery to me. I get,” he made a gesture, “flashes. Flashes that don’t make any sense.” He looked at me again and the pleading in his eyes made my anger vanish. I sank down next to him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me pulled as close as possible. He buried his head in my hair as he clung to me. “I’d tell you in an instant if I knew anything about Dante. You know that. You know me.”

I stroked his hair and considered this. He was right. I did know him and, whether it was stupid or not, I believed him. I nodded, “You’re right. I believe you. But,” he pulled back at this, “maybe there’s some way to get your memories back.” He raised one eyebrow. “Zaynab might be able to break down the barriers that keep you from remembering.”

He pulled away from me completely as he thought. He was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. “I’ll have to think about. Having someone dig in my brain like that… Well, let’s just say it worries me some.”

“I understand. It would frighten me too.”

“I didn’t say anything about being scared.”

I laughed softly. “You never admit to being scared but I know Jay-speak fairly well by now,” I nudged his side and he lifted his arm so I could cuddle against him. “It’s okay to say you’re scared, you know. At least to me.”

He scoffed, “You’re one to talk. Who do you think taught me the tough guy act?”

“I can totally admit to being scared,” he scoffed again.

“Gwen, I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve said that you were scared and still have fingers left over.”

I shifted uncomfortably. That couldn’t be true, could it? Had I become someone who couldn’t say how they felt even to the person they loved? “You’re exaggerating. I can and do tell you when I’m scared.”


He moved so I sat up. I felt his hands wrap around my forearms and he forced me to look him square in the face. “Alright. Tell me how you feel about Dante. About what we saw in the morgue today.”

My face hardened, “You know how I felt. You saw my reaction when the sheet was lifted.” For some reason, I couldn’t meet his eye so I focused on his nose.

He shook me softly till I brought my gaze up, “I want you to look at me and say it.” I stared angrily at him and he shook me a bit harder, “Say it.”

As I pulled myself from his grasp, my voice came out louder than I meant it to, “Alright. I’m terrified. I’m afraid that Dante will force me to relive my family’s murder over and over again until my mind breaks. I’m scared that he’ll finally finish what he started. I’m completely and utterly terrified. Happy?” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

His smile fell, “Not at all. I can’t imagine how hard this must be on you. And the last thing I want to see is you in pain.”

My lower lip started to quiver and I could feel the tears start to form behind my eyes. I bit down hard on my lip and dug my fingernails into my arm to try and contain them. Jay’s eyes filled with sadness as he pulled me into him. As soon as I was in his arms, the dam broke and the tears started flowing freely. The sobs weren’t far behind. Jay brought me completely into his lap and stroked my hair.

“It’s alright, love. It’s going to be okay,” his voice was soft as he repeated those words to me.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

Or Tuesday Teaser. Whatever. This is the dreaded dream sequence. (What? My MC has nightmares. Deal with it) Gwen is dreaming about her parents death. I know this scene needs a lot of work but I haven't been writing much lately so... rough and in need of lots fixing it is.


My mother raised her head weakly, “It’s going to be okay, baby.” Her arms were strung above her head just like my dad’s and her toes couldn’t even touch the floor. I wanted to believe her but the monster was too scary, too strong. How could it be okay?

He turned his attention to her, “Yes, lie to your daughter. Comfort her,” he stalked towards her as he stroked a knife I didn’t see him grab. “The mother and daughter relationship always astounded me. The absolute trust she has in you,” he turned and snarled at me. I tightened my arms around my legs as a small sound escaped me. I didn’t like it when he looked at me, “usually. Right now,” he moved behind her and placed his knife against her cheek. I shrieked and scrambled towards her.

I stumbled and fell to the ground, crying. My father was struggling against his chains and I could hear them rattle. “She doesn’t believe you. She thinks you are all going to die. And you know what,” he leaned into her and caressed her cheek. Dad screamed something at him that only seemed to please the monster, “she’s right.” The knife cut into my mom’s skin in a long cut. She called out in pain and my dad screamed again. I sobbed her name and reached out to her. The monster licked the blood from her cheek in a long stroke.

“Get your fucking hands off my wife, you sick fuck.” My dad was jerking against his chains, trying to reach my mother.

“Now, now. Such language in front of your little girl,” he tapped his chin with the knife, “How should I punish you?” A cruel smile spread across his lips. “I’ve got it!” His blade ran across my mom’s throat in a flash. I screamed as blood started to run down her skin. Her head fell forward, lifeless.

I ran to her, saying, “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” over and over again under my breath. I could hear my father calling out to me but he sounded far away. I reached my mom and started to shake her. “Mommy, wake up." I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her stomach as I sobbed. I could feel something warm dripping down onto me but I ignored it. Nothing felt real. And I knew it wouldn’t until I could feel my mother wrap her arms around me and tell me everything would be alright.

When sound returned to me, I could hear the bad man laughing and my father calling out to me in a broken voice, “Gwenie baby. Come to me. Come to me baby,” but I couldn’t release my mother. If I let her go, then she was really gone. If I dropped my arms, then she wasn’t coming back. Even as her blood dripped into my hair, I held myself to her as close as possible.

Before I knew what was happening, my back hit the wall hard and I crumpled into a heap, unable to move. I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t feel my legs. I could hear my dad shouting again but I couldn’t make out his words. After a while, I could move my head. I leaned my head back so I could look at my dad and see why he was screaming. When I saw him, I was screaming too.

The monster's laughter was louder than our screams. He was holding something medal and pushed into my dad again and again. It smelled like cooked meat suddenly and I could barley manage to roll over before I threw up all over myself.

“Kill me, just don’t hurt my little girl! Please! Please!” The monster smile frightened me so badly that it felt like my whole body was frozen. I couldn’t have moved even if I wanted to. The demon, yes I was sure by now that he was definitely a demon, stalked closer to my father and said something in his ear too quiet for me to hear. My dad’s eyes met mine and a tear slid down his cheek.

I opened my mouth to call out to him but he shook his head. He mouthed I love you, and I do the same. I knew what was coming before it happened and the tears started flowing freely down my cheeks once again. I closed my eyes as the demon raised the hot, metal rod. I heard a fleshy ripping noise and I knew my father was gone.

“No need to cry sweetheart. It will all be over soon,” the demons voice rang high in my ears as I jerked awake.




As a thank you for reading this (and just cause I like to look at him), I present to you:

James McAvoy. Cause you can never have enough McAvoy.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tuesday Teaser

Another Tuesday, another teaser. (Okay so this is only my second one. Whatever.) This is usually done with YA novels, but nothing from my current YA novel is worth posting. Instead, this is from my Adult Urban Fantasy novel known here as VDGP. I hope people will still comment even though it's not YA. Let me know what you think!


I grumbled a bit but knew he was right. In our line of work, we needed to be reachable at all times. We didn’t get to turn off the ringer for uninterrupted sex. Jay checked the caller id and handed it to me without answering.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby face,” I smiled as Riley’s soft, happy voice reached my ears. Riley was my best friend and had been for years. He and I had grown up together and after my parents died, he was the only person I had.

“Riley.” Jay tightened at the way I said his name. Jay knew that Riley and I had tried to be romantically involved once and it still worried him. I told him repeatedly that it never went anywhere because it was obvious we made much better friends then lovers but he could never quite bring himself to let the jealousy go completely.

“So you guys hadn’t called me yet and I was just checking to see if you still needed me to dog sit?” I crinkled my brow and tried to remember why we needed a sitter.

“Shit!” I exclaimed and jumped off of the bed. “Yes! We do! How soon can you be here?”

Riley chuckled in my ear, “I can be there in five. I am only two floors above you,” he laughed again, “I can’t believe that you forgot that Chris’ first hunt was tonight. After all, you’re the one who insisted on him waiting for you.”

I was already pulling on my black jeans in attempts to hurry, “I know, I know. I’m a horrible person. I’ll see you when you get here.” I hung up without waiting for a reply.

Jay was still sitting on the bed as calm as can be, even though I knew his hearing was better than humans so he had heard every word that Riley had said. When I turned to the closet to chose a shirt for myself, I pulled a pair of black pants from his side and tossed them at him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to convert to jeans. He was too old fashion. At least I had broken him of his leather habit, mostly.

“Get dressed. We’re late.”

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tuesday Teaser (Cept it's really Wednesday)

The folks over at the YA forum on AW do a Tuesday Teaser every week. I've been thinking about joining in for awhile, but I've been afraid. Their Teaser are all so good and my first drafts almost never are. Now, some of this may be 3 am talking but I've decided to screw it. I'm going for it. Here's a scene from my NaNo project that I just finished not too long ago.

It's from the male MC's perceptive. The two are at a coffee shop, catching up, and they are about to leave. He starts reliving the day that the female MC moved away when they were young. Now, be gentle. Remember it's a very rough draft and NaNo. Which means I cranked it out as fast as possible without any second guessing or editing. On that note, tell me what you think.

It was obvious to him that Grace was starting to come to the same conclusion, but Reece wasn’t ready to let her go yet. Every time he thought of them parting ways, the scene of her moving away at the end of seventh grade popped into his head.

She had ran over to his house again, as she had so many times before. The day before, she had begged him to come see her off but he said he couldn’t. Even though she asked for a reason a hundred times, he never gave her one. He didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t stand her leaving him and he didn’t want to deal with it. If he didn’t watch her drive off, he could pretend it didn’t happen, at least for a little while.

But Grace could not leave without saying goodbye. They both knew they would regret not getting in a last goodbye, but that didn’t make it any easier for Reece or for Grace. Even so, literally five minutes before her mom was planning to leave, she fled to him.

He had been watching TV, but he couldn’t have told anyone what was on. What he was really doing was not thinking about Grace. He couldn’t. Then there was a knock on the door. Reece seriously considered not answering it, but he heard her small, broken voice calling out to him.


“Reece,” she choked, followed by another knock. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger and actually sounded like her, “Reece, I know you’re in there, God damn it. Answer this door right now or else I’m coming in there and kicking your skinny little ass.”

She pounded on the door. He had moved while she was talking and was standing just on the other side of the door, still debating whether or not to open it. It was when a small sob reached his ears that he wrenched the door open.


Immediately, he was slapped across his face. Less than a second later, Grace flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head into his chest. Reece rested his chin on top of her head and stroked her hair. She was shaking, silently crying into him. He began whispering softly to her, telling her it was going to be alright even though he didn’t believe it himself.

After what seemed like hours, she lifted her head and stared into his eyes. Moving his hands to cradle her face, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Slowly, she shook her head back and forth, “No. It’s not going to be alright. How can it be alright? How can I be alright without…” she stopped and bit her trembling lower lip.

“Without what?” Reece searched her face, hoping to find a hint at what she couldn’t live without.

She let out an exasperated sigh and yelled, “Without you, idiot! You’ve always been here with me. You’ve gotten me through every hard time I have ever had. How am I going to get by without you? Especially since I’m in love with you, stupid!”

There they were. The words he had wanted to hear for so long. Without so much as a thought, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her as deeply and as best as he knew how. Her body tightened around him and one of his hands traveled to her hair while the other continued to cradle her cheek. They had both kissed people before but it had always been chaise and innocence. This kiss felt anything but innocence. It felt heated and passionate. Grace’s mouth opened and Reece was surprised momentarily when her tongue entered his mouth. It took him about a second to recover before he returned the gentle touch.

It seemed like that moment was going to last forever, but no matter how perfect the moment, it must end. Theirs came to a halt when Grace’s mother pulled into the driveway and honked her horn. Grace broke the kiss but didn’t back away or drop her hold on him. She examined his face as if she was trying to memorize every freckle. Her mom honked again. Grace pressed another kiss against his lips than ran towards the car without so much as a glance back at the boy she was leaving behind.

Reece watched their car disappear. He knew that the world wasn’t going to end, but at fourteen, losing his best friend and the girl he was in love with sure felt like the end. As he turned back towards his house, the first tear fell. And it was a long time before the last one did too.

“Grace,” Reece said impulsively, “Would you like to go for a walk with me?” He knew he was being stupid. He knew he would see her in a few days at the most, but the fourteen year old boy on the doorstep was screaming at him not to let her go again.

I probably used way too many commas, but that will all get fleshed out later. Thanks for your input if you decide to comment. If not, well fine. I didn't want your comment anyways. =]

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Writing Meme

Your genre(s): I write mostly adult Urban Fantasies but I've been experimenting in YA books the past couple of months. I still like UF the best but I'm slowly getting better with YA.

How many books are you working on now
: Right now my main book is my NaNo novel, The Freshman Affair. And if I ever have any extra time after working on that, Gwen and Jay demand my attention. Constantly. Seriously, they won't shut up.
I still haven't finish my last year's novel, College for Witches, but it needs a total make over before it will ever be finished. So far now, it's on the back burner.

Are you a linear or chunk writer
: Mostly a linear writer, but when I get stuck or I'm in a particular mood, I'll skip ahead to a scene that fits that mood or is thrilling enough to get me unstuck.

The POV you’re partial to
: First person, first person, first person. It's been a really long time since I've used any other. When I realized that, I decided to try third person limited for my NaNo. There's the occasional miss use of pronouns but other than that I'm liking it. I still think I do better with first though.

The Tense you u
se: Past. Hands down.

The theme that keeps cropping up in your books
: Sex.

Okay not just sex. Also violence, love, pain, and lots of death. What can I say? I like to put my characters through hell.

How many days a week do you write
: I try to write at least five days a week. With NaNo it's all seven. Before NaNo, it was probably closer to three, but I'm working on it,

What time of day do you get your best writing done
: Latish. Like midnight or later.Or right away in the morning if I actually manage to walk up.

Who are your mentors
: Err... I don't really have any. I just try to listen to people who have been writing longer and have had some success with it. I'll take all the help and advice I can get.

My favorite authors to read
: Well there's Laurell K Hamiliton, who really turned me on to Urban Fantasy. Katie MacAlister, Kim Harrison, and Madelyn Alt have also helped there. Annette Blair has help nurture my love for paranormal romances.

Then there's the more serious works, like Doyle and Austen. Chuck Palahniuk and Ian McEwan are new favorites. And, of course, I love me some Shakespeare.

This Meme was shamefully stolen from Lori. Thanks for giving me something to post about. =]

Houston, we have a problem.

I don't even know if I can call it a problem. If it was any month but November, I would consider this problem a blessing. And yet...

Because it's NaNo, I had to start a completely new story. I didn't think that it would be a big of deal. I figured I could just temporarily move Gwen and Jay's story to the back burner and give TFA my full attention. But something is happening to me that I've only ever heard of from other authors.

Gwen and Jay won't. shut. up.

Their story keeps me up at night. I even had a dream about them when I finally manged to get to sleep (Jay was even hotter than I thought. It was a really good dream ;-]). Gwen's voice is whispering to me constantly. And her and Grace (TFA's female MC) are two completely different people and their stories have very little in common. Gwen keeps showing up, her mannerisms and attitude keep creeping in where they don't belong.

Some of you would think there was a simple solution, just work on them both. Well, with school, trying to find a job, and dealing with my father, it's hard enough to find time to do nearly 2k a day.

Gwen. I'm beggging you, just for November, please keep your mouth shut.



I really have no reason for putting Gerard Butler in here. I just like to look at him.

Besides, some people *cough* Scarlett *cough* only read this for the hot men. Got to keep them coming back. ;-]

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Saying Goodbye to the Past

I made a big decision today. I decided that I was finally ready to let go of the past.

I spent a good deal of time in high school in and out of therapy and treatment centers for depression. My mother had married an emotionally and physical abusive man when I was in 7th grade but it wasn't till 9th that I had no choice but to move in with them. I spent three years in a house where I felt neither wanted nor loved. It weighed down hard on me and affected every aspect of my life.

As most of you know, I'm a writer. So when I was depressed, I would write about it. I have folders full of depressed ramblings, some of it by me and some are just song lyrics. Some of them weren't even about anything important, just me being a teenage girl. I thought I should keep them so I could look back at all the things I had lived through and it would make me feel... better I guess. But now I see them for what they are, just a reminder of a time where I was at my absolute lowest. And that all they would ever do is drag me back down.

So I'm going through all of these notebooks and I'm copying down any little gems that I happened to spew out in hopes I might be able to use them someday. So far, I've found one simple sentence that fits perfectly into VDGP and another that spurred a whole new story idea. I'm excited for what else I'll find.

The rest I'm shredding. My step-dad no longer has a hold on me. I'm ready to say goodbye to feeling sorry for myself and letting the past hold me back.

Goodbye teen angst, hello bright future.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Just a quick update.

Writing wise- I've been doing pretty well.

VDGP is coming along pretty well. It's sitting at 3,000 some words right now and with how busy I've been trying to see people before I go back to Pennsylvania. I'm pretty happy with how it's been going.

CFW has sorta been put on the back burner because I've been feeling sort of stalled on it again. That story just doesn't want to go the way I want it to. I wish I would have outlined it. Outlining has been my friend lately.

TFA is still in the outlining process and I'm still having a little trouble making it come together. I need a little more... something to make it worthwhile and interesting.

Personal wise- I've been having a rough couple days and don't really know how to make it better. So I'm going to go over to my sister's house and play with her amazing puppy and watch this guy-

be way too beautiful and shirtless for most of a movie. Hopefully there will be some ice cream involved. Sounds like a perfect cure to me.
 
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