Oh NaNo.

It's that time of year again. NaNo is just around the corner. And I'm just as, if not more, nervous for this year as I was last year.

Some of you may remember that I didn't win my first year. I'm still okay with that because I still wrote more that month than I ever had before. But this year, I feel even more pressure to win. Now that I've gone through it once, I feel like I should be more prepare.

I think it's safe to say that's not how I feel. At all.

Since NaNo last year, I have learned a few things about myself as a writer. One, I'm not a wing it kind of girl. I always thought I was, but after the fail that CFW turned into and the success that VDGP is turning into, I've been proven wrong. So I've been outlining The Freshman Affair, but there is something missing. The "Magic Feather" as Lori (Between Brothers out now. Read it.((Unless you're like me and are still waiting for the paperback to come out))) and Scarlett have deemed it.

I've got a little more than a week to discover that magic. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

On a side note- My birthday was two days ago. Which still hasn't really hit me. I feel like I just hit 18. What happened to 2009?

To apologize for my absent, I present to you:


Men who could murder your cat and you'd forgive them without hesitation.

Forget about my blatant neglection yet? Not quite? Well this should do it then....
Enjoy. =]

Saying Goodbye to the Past

I made a big decision today. I decided that I was finally ready to let go of the past.

I spent a good deal of time in high school in and out of therapy and treatment centers for depression. My mother had married an emotionally and physical abusive man when I was in 7th grade but it wasn't till 9th that I had no choice but to move in with them. I spent three years in a house where I felt neither wanted nor loved. It weighed down hard on me and affected every aspect of my life.

As most of you know, I'm a writer. So when I was depressed, I would write about it. I have folders full of depressed ramblings, some of it by me and some are just song lyrics. Some of them weren't even about anything important, just me being a teenage girl. I thought I should keep them so I could look back at all the things I had lived through and it would make me feel... better I guess. But now I see them for what they are, just a reminder of a time where I was at my absolute lowest. And that all they would ever do is drag me back down.

So I'm going through all of these notebooks and I'm copying down any little gems that I happened to spew out in hopes I might be able to use them someday. So far, I've found one simple sentence that fits perfectly into VDGP and another that spurred a whole new story idea. I'm excited for what else I'll find.

The rest I'm shredding. My step-dad no longer has a hold on me. I'm ready to say goodbye to feeling sorry for myself and letting the past hold me back.

Goodbye teen angst, hello bright future.

Just a quick update.

Writing wise- I've been doing pretty well.

VDGP is coming along pretty well. It's sitting at 3,000 some words right now and with how busy I've been trying to see people before I go back to Pennsylvania. I'm pretty happy with how it's been going.

CFW has sorta been put on the back burner because I've been feeling sort of stalled on it again. That story just doesn't want to go the way I want it to. I wish I would have outlined it. Outlining has been my friend lately.

TFA is still in the outlining process and I'm still having a little trouble making it come together. I need a little more... something to make it worthwhile and interesting.

Personal wise- I've been having a rough couple days and don't really know how to make it better. So I'm going to go over to my sister's house and play with her amazing puppy and watch this guy-

be way too beautiful and shirtless for most of a movie. Hopefully there will be some ice cream involved. Sounds like a perfect cure to me.

My life is complete.

Well not quite. It would be if I could have seen this live but I had no such luck. But I made an awesome discovery today that had made me happy beyond belief.

Are you ready for this?


Are you?

It's......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk&feature=fvw

A FUCKING HARRY POTTER MUSICAL!

If I knew how to post videos on here I would but I don't. Anyways. Check it out. Seriously. Best thing I've seen on the Internet ever.

Not to toot my own horn...

But I'm awesome. Seriously.

Okay not really, but I am having a really good night. Writing wise that is. (You thought I actually went out and got myself a life didn't ya? Sucker) Here is the list of writing accomplishments so far today.

• I finished the outline for my urban fantasy story.
• I finally thought of at least a working title for said story. Since I'm not sure I'm going to keep it, I'm not going to post it here. For now, let's just call it VDGP
  
• I started on VDGP. It's very small start but still a start
  
• I came up with a NaNo idea.
• I came up with a NaNo title- The Freshman Affair. (Don't laugh. I'm horrible at titles)
• I started an outline on The Freshman Affair.

Toot toot!

Vacation time cuts deeply into writing time.

For the past month, I've been on vacation in my hometown. Actually, I'm still on vacation so I haven't been doing very much writing at all. The only thing I really have been doing is working on an outline for an urban fantasy that I've been kicking around for a long time but hasn't ever been made into reality. Well, now that the outline is all but finished, I'm pretty damn sure that this time (which is probably about the 7th time) will be the charm.

I've never been a huge fan of outlining but I'm really glad that I decided to do it. I have a clear idea of where I want the story to go and what I want to happen. It's probably a little too detailed even but I'm hoping that if it comes between the outline and the characters I'll remember that the characters know what's best. *crosses fingers*

One thing that sucks about outlining is that I had to push myself really hard to finish the outline and just not skip right to the writing. Working on the outline made me so excited to get the actual project started that I almost abandoned the outline more than once. But I stuck to my guns and it's just a chapter away for being complete!

The whole reason I decided to post this was because while I was writing the outline I made the decision to kill off one of my favorite characters. I haven't even started to really write it yet but I'm already so attached to this character that I started to tear up a little. I'm so not excited to write that scene, but I feel like it will cause an intense emotional response from my readers (at least I hope so!) and it will motivate my main character a lot. I was not expecting to have such a strong emotional response already. It gives me a lot of hope for this story!

I still don't have a title for this WIP but I'm so excited to get it going! I can't decide if it would be best to put it off till after CFW is done or work at them both at the same time. I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

To apologize for not posting lately (and for the semi info-dumpness that was this post) here's a little man candy:
I usually only lust after men who are quite a bit older than I am so I think for this post I'll pick a few beautiful men who I could actually... well you know... without it being super creeping. Chace Crawford is too hot.

And I would do unspeakable things to Chad Micheal Murray. Whew.
Okay, does this surprise anyone? No matter what, I will never pass up an opportunity to drool over James McAvoy. Never.

Hallelujah

I've been struggling recently College For Witches. The story was supposed to be about the struggles of a young girl starting college and dealing with all the normal problems a girl her age has to, along with some not so normal ones that came from her unconventional upbringing as a Wicca.

What it turned into was a teen romance story. The magic element was barely even in the story and it was supposed to be a main plot point. In short, the original story had gotten lost underneath the intense amount of heat that El and Aiden felt for each other. Excluding a couple particular steamy scenes, I wasn't a fan of where the story was headed.

But tonight, after writing a little more romantic drivel, I had one of the moments I love. An "Aha!" moment. All of the sudden, something clicked into place and I knew how to get the story back on track. A character who is going to be very important in the coming chapters finally came back out of hiding and everyone started to behave according to plan.

Apparently, Elvira and Aiden just really needed to have sex. Before they were uncooperative and stubborn. Now they're content, helpful, and playing by my rules again. And I'm back to liking what I'm writing.

Hallelujah.