I'm really tired so I'm not going to explain the scene. I think you'll be able to understand it on your own. *Insert usual disclaimer about how rough the selection is.* Enjoy.
He stared at me for several moments before he broke, “I’m sure you have some questions for me.”
I lifted my eyebrows, “What makes you think that? It’s not like an evil vampire bitch just told me that you were involved with another evil vampire that killed my parents. Oh wait…”
He sighed and stared at his hands. “I know how you must be feeling.”
Something inside me snapped at this. Anger rose inside me, leaving a trail as hot as fire, and settled in my throat. I tried to swallow it but it burst from my lips and I shouted, “Really? You know what it’s like to relive your parents murder? You know what it’s like to not know if you can trust the person you love above anyone else? Really?” I was suddenly standing over him and I didn’t remember moving. My breath was ragged and I had to clench my teeth shut to stop myself from screaming.
Jay sat there completely peaceful. I had the sudden urge to strike him. My fist clenched in yearning but I forced it open. His total passiveness pissed me off more than him screaming back would have.
“Well?!” I demanded, placing my hand on my hips and tapping my foot.
“I wish I had a better answer for you then I do,” his perfect mask slipped for a moment and I saw the hurt in his eyes. I must have reacted because he turned from me to stare out the window. “I haven’t been lying to you. It’s always been the truth between us. Most of my life is a complete mystery to me. I get,” he made a gesture, “flashes. Flashes that don’t make any sense.” He looked at me again and the pleading in his eyes made my anger vanish. I sank down next to him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me pulled as close as possible. He buried his head in my hair as he clung to me. “I’d tell you in an instant if I knew anything about Dante. You know that. You know me.”
I stroked his hair and considered this. He was right. I did know him and, whether it was stupid or not, I believed him. I nodded, “You’re right. I believe you. But,” he pulled back at this, “maybe there’s some way to get your memories back.” He raised one eyebrow. “Zaynab might be able to break down the barriers that keep you from remembering.”
He pulled away from me completely as he thought. He was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. “I’ll have to think about. Having someone dig in my brain like that… Well, let’s just say it worries me some.”
“I understand. It would frighten me too.”
“I didn’t say anything about being scared.”
I laughed softly. “You never admit to being scared but I know Jay-speak fairly well by now,” I nudged his side and he lifted his arm so I could cuddle against him. “It’s okay to say you’re scared, you know. At least to me.”
He scoffed, “You’re one to talk. Who do you think taught me the tough guy act?”
“I can totally admit to being scared,” he scoffed again.
“Gwen, I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve said that you were scared and still have fingers left over.”
I shifted uncomfortably. That couldn’t be true, could it? Had I become someone who couldn’t say how they felt even to the person they loved? “You’re exaggerating. I can and do tell you when I’m scared.”
He moved so I sat up. I felt his hands wrap around my forearms and he forced me to look him square in the face. “Alright. Tell me how you feel about Dante. About what we saw in the morgue today.”
My face hardened, “You know how I felt. You saw my reaction when the sheet was lifted.” For some reason, I couldn’t meet his eye so I focused on his nose.
He shook me softly till I brought my gaze up, “I want you to look at me and say it.” I stared angrily at him and he shook me a bit harder, “Say it.”
As I pulled myself from his grasp, my voice came out louder than I meant it to, “Alright. I’m terrified. I’m afraid that Dante will force me to relive my family’s murder over and over again until my mind breaks. I’m scared that he’ll finally finish what he started. I’m completely and utterly terrified. Happy?” I crossed my arms and glared at him.
His smile fell, “Not at all. I can’t imagine how hard this must be on you. And the last thing I want to see is you in pain.”
My lower lip started to quiver and I could feel the tears start to form behind my eyes. I bit down hard on my lip and dug my fingernails into my arm to try and contain them. Jay’s eyes filled with sadness as he pulled me into him. As soon as I was in his arms, the dam broke and the tears started flowing freely. The sobs weren’t far behind. Jay brought me completely into his lap and stroked my hair.
“It’s alright, love. It’s going to be okay,” his voice was soft as he repeated those words to me.
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